


when pain is all that they offer (surely someone will reach out a hand)

by blackrose1002, BlackVultures



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blow Jobs, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic, Drugged Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Exhaustion, First Kiss, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving In Together, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Physical Abuse, Psychological Torture, Shower Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:00:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVultures/pseuds/BlackVultures
Summary: He walked out of the bathroom, blindly crossing his bedroom as he dried his hair, and he couldn't help but wonder how working at the Phoenix is going to be now. "I started to think you drowned back there," a voice sounding somewhere behind Mac startled him and he spun around, his eyes widening when he saw a man sitting on a chair behind his desk. "How long can one person spend in the shower?"(Or the one where Desi wasn't available to replace Jack, so he found someone else he thought he could trust... which was a mistake)
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 93
Kudos: 227





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Because Sammy is on fire, updating and posting our fics all the time, I decided to step up and I managed to get the first chapter of this fic done! Be warned, **there will be more tags added with later chapters** , so be sure to check them out before you start reading.
> 
> Title is from a song "A Safe Place to Land" by Sara Bareilles.
> 
> I really loved writing this fic, so I hope you guys enjoy it!

Closing his eyes, Mac focused on the warm water washing over him and tried to stop thinking about the Jack shaped hole in his heart that was hurting more than any injury he had ever had. It had been a few days since Jack left, since... since he shook his hand and just... left. Matty had given them all two days off to get their heads back in the game and today they were all supposed to come back to work... and probably meet the person Jack had picked to take over his job.

Matty told them via text this morning that Jack had handpicked his replacement, and that while the woman he had originally wanted to take the job was unavailable he had found someone else. This guy was an ex-Navy SEAL like McGarrett, and according to Jack he was as tough as they came. That was all Matty knew - or at least what she was willing to say - so Mac was left to ponder the lack of information as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbing another for his hair.

He walked out of the bathroom, blindly crossing his bedroom as he dried his hair, and he couldn't help but wonder how working at the Phoenix is going to be now. "I started to think you drowned back there," a voice sounding somewhere behind Mac startled him and he spun around, his eyes widening when he saw a man sitting on a chair behind his desk. "How long can one person spend in the shower?"

He was a big guy, taller than Mac by a few inches and broader in the shoulders. He was older than Mac too, which wasn't a surprise, and he had got the clean-cut good looks of every special forces operator Mac had ever met - black hair, gray eyes, and a crooked nose that had been broken a few times. His posture was relaxed, but Mac knew that with his training he was anything but, even if he was slumped in a chair fiddling with a Rubik's cube. He looked Mac up and down and smirked. "Dalton told me you were a skinny little nerd, but I didn't think he was being so literal."

The mention of Jack's name was what assured Mac that this man was the person that Jack must have picked to work with Mac. It didn't change the fact that Mac had no idea why this guy broke into his house and was currently looking at him with such a condescending look that it immediately made Mac's stomach sink.

He pushed aside the hurt he felt when he heard that Jack had called him a nerd - he was being ridiculous, Jack playfully called him that many times - and he crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you doing in my house?" he asked, glaring at the man and trying to ignore the bad feeling he had about him.

"Testing your security," the stranger replied, tossing the Rubik’s cube in the air and catching it with a deft hand. He pushed himself up out of the chair and walked over the Mac, circling him slowly. "It's abysmal, by the way - a toddler could break in here. I hear you don't like to carry a gun?"

"Nope," Mac said, obnoxiously popping the "p" sound just because he could. "That's part of the reason I need an overwatch."

"Fantastic," the man rolled his eyes, and Mac did his best not to tense under his gaze. "So I'm stuck with babysitting a defenseless geek? You're lucky I owe Dalton."

The man stood right in front of Mac and Mac barely stopped himself from taking a step back. Instead he held the guy's gaze, trying to ignore the fact that he was basically naked, except for the towel around his waist. "No one's forcing you to take the job," he said quietly, wondering why Jack had asked such a jerk to watch over Mac and the team.

Maybe Jack hadn't had a choice since the woman he wanted was busy... or maybe it was Jack's way of getting back at Mac for Nigeria. "But I kinda did," the guy said, breaking Mac out of his thoughts. "Like I said, I owe Dalton." He tossed Mac the Rubik’s cube and headed for the door. "Be ready to go in ten minutes or I'm leaving without you."

"I don't even know your name," Mac pointed out, throwing the cube on the desk and twisting around to look at this jerk.

"Call me Harrison," was all the answer he got, and then the front door slammed.

* * *

"Alright, guys, I got the dude on the camera, he took left," Riley's voice sounded in Mac's ear through the comms. She was back in the war room while he and Harrison were chasing a member of the group they were tracking between shipping containers and warehouses. It had been two months since Harrison had paid Mac a visit in the house and joined the Phoenix and so far it had been... interesting. No, scratch that - it had been hell, a complete nightmare... at least for Mac.

Harrison was the opposite of Jack in nearly every way - he was excellent at his job, but that was where any similarities ended. He couldn't stand to spend time with Mac and it showed in his demeanor and the way he disguised cutting remarks as jokes. Right now he was keeping pace with Mac, gun in hand, and thankfully when they were in the middle of combat he acted professional instead of commenting on Mac's hair or his fidgeting or the way he dressed.

"You keep going, I'll go around and cut him off," Harrison said, and before Mac could agree or argue he was gone, jogging around some crates and vanishing.

Mac kept running because they really needed to get this guy, but his mind went back to Harrison's comments. What was worse, the rest of the team seemed to like him - he was nice, friendly even when he was with them and he never said anything bad to Mac when they were around or on comms... but as soon as it was just the two of them he quickly dropped the act. Mac had no idea what his deal was and right now it looked like he wouldn't get a chance to think more about it because when he rounded the corner Harrison was there, tying up the unconscious mobster who was lying on the ground.

"About time you showed up," Harrison said when Mac got closer, and it was things like that he said when the team was listening that made Mac bristle. If Jack had said it, it would have been a joke, but the way Harrison looked at him gave it a different meaning.

"Good work, guys," Matty said in their ears. "Pack it up and head for the airstrip, your plane is waiting for you."

Mac heard a quiet beep which meant the comms had been disconnected and he already knew what was going to happen. "Damn it, MacGyver," Harrison started. "Could you be any slower?" He picked up the unconscious mobster and headed for the car. Mac followed him because he didn't have any other choice and he shoved his hands in his pockets, fighting the urge to fiddle with a paperclip. "No wonder Dalton left, I bet he got tired of chasing the bad guys and dealing with them on his own."

That made Mac angry, hearing Harrison presume to know about his and Jack's relationship... which admittedly wasn't in a great spot as of Jack leaving, but Mac knew that Jack at least considered him a friend. "You're an ass," Mac snapped, opening the trunk of the rental car so Harrison could dump the mobster inside. "You don't know anything about how Jack and I work together. In fact, I'm beginning to think you don't know much of anything beyond how to hunt like a dog."

"Aw, did I touch a nerve?" Harrison sneered, not bothered by Mac's words at all. "And I know enough, princess. For example, I know you don't belong here. This is a real world with real problems, so you should do everyone a favor and lock yourself up in a lab or something and do your experiments here." Harrison got behind a wheel and Mac slid into the passenger seat even though he wanted to run away more than anything. "Nerds like you shouldn't be allowed to do this job. All you do is create chaos."

"Nerds like me save people's lives," Mac said caustically, putting on his seatbelt and staring out his window as Harrison found the highway that would lead them to the airport. "I don't know if you noticed, but you wouldn't have been able to disable that bomb in the shopping mall last week. And you had no idea what kind of chemicals to mix together to make the acid we needed to get into that safe room to kidnap that diplomat either." He shot a glance at Harrison, and his mouth was drawn down in a tight line. "Don't tell me I'm not good at my job, because I am." _Not good enough to keep Jack around_ , a tiny voice in his head whispered, but he pushed it away.

"Apparently not good enough if Dalton thought you needed a nanny," Harrison said with a shrug. "What kind of agent doesn't even carry a gun? It's pathetic."

Mac decided not to reply since arguing with Harrison was clearly pointless and it only seemed to rile him up. And even though Mac knew Harrison was wrong, his remarks still hurt and... Mac just wanted to go home and away from him. In moments like this he missed Jack even more than usually and he cursed himself for wrecking their friendship so badly that Jack had decided to leave him behind.

The drive to the airport didn't take long, and they left the car and the mobster for a tac team to pick up. Then they climbed aboard a private Phoenix jet and took their seats, and soon they were in the air. Mac pulled out his phone to check, but as usual there were no messages or missed calls from Jack. He debated texting him just to pass the time, but decided against it, since Jack had made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested in talking.

He felt Harrison's gaze on him for long enough that his scalp prickled, but he didn't give him the satisfaction of looking up from his phone. "What? Am I not allowed to text either?"

Harrison just snorted, but didn't say anything, and somehow that was even worse. "What?" Mac snapped, gripping his phone so tightly it was a miracle it didn't break. "If you have anything to say just say it."

"You're so easy to irritate," Harrison commented, and that was enough to get Mac to look at him. The expression on his face was... almost alarming, like a sociopath getting ready to tear the wings off a fly. "I figured I could get inside your head and push you around, but I had no idea you'd make it so _easy_."

The way he was watching Mac was unsettling and it was taking all of Mac's self-control to stay relaxed and keep his breathing steady. "Why?" he asked, forcing himself to hold Harrison's gaze. "Why would you do that? If you hate this job so much you can leave." _If you hate me_ , Mac added silently. "What have I done to you?"

"Nothing," Harrison replied, his voice suddenly almost as flat as his eyes, two silver dimes in his head. Mac's mind flashed briefly to Murdoc, but even Murdoc showed more emotion that this - good or bad, it was still there. "Nothing at all. But I've always had a bone to pick with little nerds like you who think they're better than everybody else. And I'm not going anywhere. Not until you've been put in your place, anyway."

Mac suddenly felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water on him and he barely stopped himself from shuddering. "And what is that supposed to mean?" he asked, the words out of his mouth before he could stop them, and the smirk that spread on Harrison's lips made his blood freeze.

"Oh, MacGyver, what fun would it be if I gave away the punchline before I told you the whole joke?" Harrison's head tilted to one side, and a distance part of Mac wondered how many innocent people this guy had killed overseas, because there was no way someone like this had served in the military without murdering at least one civilian. He wasn't just a jerk and a bully like Mac had thought - he was an unhinged one, which was much worse. "Don't worry, you'll find out... eventually."

For the first time since Jack left Mac actually felt _scared_ , but he didn't let it show - if Harrison saw it, it would be over. He didn't reply and went back to staring at his phone, pretending to write an email while in reality he was just typing random letters, his mind spinning. He wondered if he should tell Matty about this, but... would she even believe him? Harrison was always on his best behavior around her and the others, and Mac... he didn't want to bother others with his problems.

No, his anxious mind told him, because if he bothered the others with his problems they might leave like Jack did. And that would break Mac in a much worse way than Harrison ever could, so he decided to keep it to himself, at least for the time being. He supposed that if Harrison tried anything he could tell his dad instead of Matty... but that would open another can of worms that he wasn't sure he wanted to touch.

So he tapped away at his phone and tried to formulate a plan, and tried not to think about the way Harrison watched him for the rest of the flight back to LA.

* * *

About a month or so later a mission required them getting some information from a person Mac was really not looking forward to seeing - Murdoc. He was... tired, really exhausted because of Harrison and his behavior, and the last thing he needed was Murdoc and his mind games, but Matty had asked him to talk to him, so here he was. Harrison was with him, of course, and when they arrived at the Phoenix black site Mac couldn't help but hysterically think that he was about to be surrounded by _two_ psychopaths - three if you counted Helman, Mac almost forgot about him. He only comforted himself with the thought of the Phoenix guards around and he hoped Harrison would keep his mouth shut once they were inside because the thought of Murdoc and Harrison teaming up was... terrifying.

They went through security and took the elevator down to the bottom floor, and to Mac's surprise, Harrison was immediately fascinated by Helman. Apparently he had been behaving because he had a guitar and a few other items in his cell, and he was strumming it idly and didn't stop when Harrison saw him. "Go talk to your buddy, MacGyver," Harrison said, waving him off - without turning around, Mac knew Murdoc was watching them. "Try not to get yourself killed, yeah?"

Mac swallowed hard and then slowly turned around, and sure enough, he saw Murdoc watching him with a small smile and an intrigued look on his face. "MacGyver! What a nice surprise," he said, his smile widening, but then he frowned a little when Mac walked up closer to the glass separating them. "My, my, Angus, you don't look so well."

Mac frowned, his eyebrows drawing down. Murdoc liked to comment on his appearance occasionally, but he had never said anything like that - and if Mac didn't know better he would say he almost sounds concerned. "What are you - never mind, no, I don't want to know," Mac said, shaking his head a little. "I need some information about a fence you've worked with before."

Murdoc inclined his head and looked past Mac to where Harrison was watching Helman. "Why don't you come in here, Angus? Where there are... less ears to hear us talk." His black eyes met Mac's and they were strangely serious. "No tricks, I promise."

"Right, because we both know how trustworthy you are," Mac snorted, but there was something in Murdoc's expression that Mac had never seen before.

Murdoc rolled his eyes and lifted his hands that were cuffed together - the guards must have put them on him before Mac and Harrison had gotten there. "MacGyver, we both know I don't want you dead," Murdoc drawled, his voice dropping lower, and Mac realized Murdoc didn't want Harrison to hear him. "Come on, Angus. Let's talk in here, I won't try anything. Scout's honor."

"You were never a scout," Mac muttered, but... he found himself wanting to do as Murdoc said which was ridiculous.

It wasn't any more ridiculous than the rest of Mac's life was at the moment, so he finally relented, punching in the code that opened Murdoc's cell and slipping inside. He almost expected to be rushed as soon as the door shut, but it didn't happen, and they wound up sitting on the edge of Murdoc's bed, with their backs to the window. "And here I thought Dalton was a brute," was Murdoc's opener. "Where did you find this lunkhead?"

"He's my new overwatch," Mac replied slowly, focused on keeping his voice steady and not to reveal anything in the expression on his face. With the way Murdoc was behaving right now Mac felt like he was in an uncharted territory, but it didn't change the fact that Murdoc was a killer and a psychopath, and Mac didn't trust him at all. "Why did you want to talk in here? What game are you playing?"

Murdoc pulled in a deep breath through his nose and then let it out, like he was trying to stay calm. "I'm not playing a game, Angus," he said slowly, like he was willing Mac to understand... something. "Not this time. When I play with you it's because it's fun... and right now, with the state you're in? It would be like playing with something that's already dead."

Mac felt his blood turn to ice and he swallowed hard. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied, staring ahead and not looking at Murdoc which usually would have been a mistake. What Murdoc said caught him off guard because... he must have noticed somehow how tired Mac was and he was the first person to comment on it and it was... unsettling. "I'm fine, Murdoc," he lied, because he was not going to show any weakness to Murdoc. "Now, will you help us? Or am I wasting my time here?"

"I'll help... but I want something in return," Murdoc said, and Mac anticipated this, so he was ready to say no to any demand that was too out there. He expected something related to Cassian, but once again today Murdoc surprised him. "I'll tell you everything I know about my fence friend if you agree to lose that ape masquerading as your partner. Immediately."

"What?" Mac frowned, and glanced at Murdoc who was watching him with an unreadable expression on his face. "How am I supposed to do that? I can't just-" He cut off, narrowing his eyes, his heart pounding wildly. "But why would I even do that? And more importantly... why do _you_ want me to get rid of him?"

Murdoc met his gaze, and there was something troubled in the lines around his eyes and the set of his mouth. "I want that because I recognize another monster when I see one," he said, and a chill ran down Mac's spine. "He's a different breed than I, however. I set a goal and I always achieve it - that kind of monster? He only wants one thing, and that's destruction. And from the looks of things he's chosen you as his target." He paused. "Although his apparent interest in Helman is... unexpected."

As much as Mac hated it, he had to agree with Murdoc here because when he glanced over his shoulder Harrison was still near Helman's cage. "What... how can you tell?" he asked quietly, hating that he was actually talking to _Murdoc_ out of all people about this. "What did you mean by... the state I'm currently in? I told you, I'm fine."

Murdoc snorted. "Yes, and I'm perfectly sane," he said dryly, and... was that a _joke_? Before Mac could question if he had slipped into a parallel universe, Murdoc continued, "You've dropped at least ten pounds, you haven't washed your hair in a week, and the bags under your eyes need their own luggage tags. How am I doing so far?"

Mac leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, and he linked his fingers together to stop his hands from shaking. He could have argued, he could have insisted he was okay, say that it had nothing to do with Harrison, but... there was no point, right? Murdoc had clearly noticed and he wouldn't believe Mac anyway, and Mac was... he was so _tired_. "It doesn't matter," he said quietly. "He's not going anywhere, so... I guess I'm gonna go since you're not getting what you want and you're not going to help."

An elbow jostled him and he looked up, startled. Murdoc was still watching him, and again there was something almost like concern in his expression. "Which fence is it? There are several." Mac haltingly gave him the name, and Murdoc thought for a moment. "You can usually find him at a BMW dealership in Santa Monica - I know, I know, not exactly glamorous, but the man has six kids, he needs a regular job. You can bribe him with expensive chardonnay, and if you get him drunk he'll tell you anything you want to know."

Mac blinked and did his best to hide how surprised he was by Murdoc's sudden cooperation, but he didn't think he succeeded. "Alright, that... that helps, thank you," he said quietly, and then he stood up, hysterically realizing that he would have rather stayed in the cell with Murdoc than go outside and face Harrison. It was fucked up and he shook his head a little, and after one last breath he headed for the door.

"MacGyver," Murdoc called out when he was about to open it, and when he turned around Murdoc was watching him with that... almost concerned look again. "Be careful, won't you? It would be a shame if something happened to you... and I wasn't the one behind it."

Mac looked at him for a moment, and felt himself smile against his better judgement - it might be a lesser of two evils scenario, but at least he _understood_ Murdoc. "Yeah, it would be," he agreed, and his smile widened when he saw surprise flash on Murdoc's face. "Stay out of the hot sun, Murdoc. And... thank you."

* * *

Jack leaned against the tree and stared at the view, his thoughts wandering. As always they went back to the team back in Los Angeles and to Mac - whenever Jack had a second he was thinking about him, he couldn't help it. He knew he had hurt him leaving the way he had, but he hadn't had a choice, Kovacs needed to be stopped - he still did - but maybe Jack could have handled saying goodbye to Mac better. Now he was haunted by the tearful look on Mac's face and the way his voice shook and he felt like the worst kind of bastard.

He was also dealing with the nagging feeling in the back of his brain that something was wrong, but for the life of him he didn't know what. He called Matty for check-ins every week and she told him everything was fine, that Harrison and Mac worked well together and there was nothing for Jack to worry about... but then why did Harrison never answer when Jack called to hear it from him directly?

Speaking of calling, Jack felt his phone buzz against the inside of his vest - they were gearing up for a breach but he had a few minutes until then - and he fished it out to check the caller ID. It wasn't a number he recognized, but it was a California area code, so he answered with: "Dalton."

"Just the man I was looking for," a familiar voice said, and Jack felt goosebumps prickle his skin when he realized it was Murdoc calling him. "Jacky-boy, we need to talk. It's about Angus."

"What have you done?" Jack growled, his blood turning to ice. "What did you do to him? I swear to god, I will-"

"Relax now, would you," Murdoc interjected, the tone of his voice bored. "I'm still in a cage, remember? I didn't touch your precious boy." Jack relaxed a little bit because that was true, Murdoc _was_ locked up, and now that he thought about it he recognized the number as the one of the phones at the black site. But why on earth would Murdoc call _him_?

"So if this isn't one of your villain monologue calls, what do you want?" Jack asked, glancing over his shoulder to make sure nobody from the strike team was eavesdropping. He studiously ignored the flare of... _something_ he felt in his chest when Murdoc had referred to Mac as Jack's "precious boy".

"MacGyver is in a bit of a pickle, and it has nothing to do with me," Murdoc told him, and... what? "He came to see me about a week ago with his new guard dog, and I was... unsettled. Angus is not himself, and the man who was with him didn't seem to give a shit if he dropped dead on the spot."

Jack tensed because the man Mac had been with... that had to be Harrison. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, that bad feeling he had earlier intensifying. "And before you answer that, why should I believe even a word you say?"

"Because you already know something is off? You might be little more than a glorified attack dog, Jack, but you have decent instincts," Murdoc said, and there was a compliment in there somewhere but Jack didn't want to waste time parsing it out. "Angus has lost weight, which I'd wager means he's not eating well, and he didn't look like he'd been sleeping much either. A stiff wind could've bowled him over... and it might interest you to know that your replacement was staring at Helman like he was an animal in a zoo - oh yes, he's in here with me. My neighbor and constant tormentor."

"Good, wouldn't want you to get too comfortable," Jack muttered, and flinched when Murdoc just laughed in response like he heard the greatest joke.

"Aw, Jack, charming as always. I missed you." Jack ignored the psycho, his thoughts racing while he tried to process everything Murdoc had just told him. He might have been crazy, but he was also right, Jack's instincts never failed him and right now they were screaming at him to go back, to check on Mac... but he couldn't.

"Why? Why would you care and call me?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder where he saw the team getting ready to leave. "What's your play here?"

Murdoc sighed like Jack was a particularly dense child. "Angus asked me the same question when I told him to ditch his new partner, and I'll tell you the same thing I told him: I don't have a play. I simply don't want something to happen to our dear hero if I'm not the cause of it. And believe me when I tell you, this new fellow does not have MacGyver's best interests at heart."

Jack swallowed hard because he could feel in his bones that something was wrong... but at the same time it was hard for him to believe that Harrison would have done anything to hurt Mac. He had known him for years, they had been through some tough shit together during the joint ops between Seals and Deltas. While they had always bickered and called each other names - a normal thing between Deltas and Seals - Jack trusted him and thought Harrison would do a good job protecting Mac.

"I'll look into it," he told Murdoc, desperately trying to find a way to check on Mac. If Murdoc was telling the truth... why hadn't Matty said anything? Was it possible she hadn't noticed?

"Do it soon," was Murdoc's response, strangely grave. There was some murmuring on his end of the line, and Jack could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "I have to go, my phone time is up. Ta-ta for now, Jacky-boy."

A sharp click sounded in Jack's ear and he lowered the phone from it, staring down at the screen for a moment. Then he opened up his messages and fired off a new one to Desiree Nguyen - she was his first choice to protect Mac but she had had another commitment then. He was just hoping she was available now and could find out what the hell was going on with Mac.

He was about to put his phone away and go back to the team, but he glanced at the screen when he felt it buzz with a new message. It was a reply from Desi, a short text: _You're lucky I owe you. I'll look into it_.

Closing his eyes, Jack breathed in and out a few times to clear his head - there was nothing else he could do for now, so now he needed to focus and do his best to not get himself killed because if it turned out that Mac really needed him... Jack was going to be on the first plane back, Kovacs be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> Please, check out the tags before reading this chapter, they've been updated! As always, we hope you like this one :D

A few days later, Desi found herself sitting in a rented Toyota Camry on a street outside a car dealership in Santa Monica. She had watched MacGyver and Harrison enter the dealership, but since they hadn't exited yet she presumed they were talking to someone. She ate a potato chip and contemplated if Dalton had lost his marbles - was he really taking his cues from some psycho locked in a black site now? And why was he so worried about this MacGyver guy anyway?

She had no answer for either of those questions, so after a moment she just shrugged, popping another chip into her mouth. She owed Jack, she knew that, but she also hated that, so she was more than happy to finally get rid of the debt... even if it meant making sure some kid was doing okay while being babysat by a perfectly capable former Navy Seal.

There was movement by the entrance to the dealership, and two men she knew from pictures were MacGyver and Harrison emerged from the building. Neither of them looked happy, and Harrison practically let the door slam in MacGyver's face, which was not cool, but was it a cause for alarm? They started walking across the car lot - they must have parked a distance away to avoid the cameras - and Desi pulled out her range amplifier to listen in when she saw that they were talking.

"... should get the intel back to Matty," MacGyver said, so quietly that the amplifier barely picked it up. His voice sounded... tired and blank which was... weird, but then again, was it weird enough for Jack to be worried?

Harrison snorted in response and the look he gave MacGyver sent chills down Desi's spine and that wasn't something she admitted easily, even to herself. "It's hardly any intel. You made it sound like your little friend actually gave you something useful, but I guess you can't even do that right."

Desi was completely focused now, her chips forgotten and her knuckles white around the amplifier. What Harrison was saying didn't resemble the banter that Jack had told Desi this Matty chick had described to him... it was mean.

"Yeah, well, you were supposed to bring him the good wine," MacGyver said, and there was this fragile quality to his argument, like he had been fighting for a long time and he was exhausted.

He made a surprised, pained sound when Harrison grabbed him by the elbow and twisted, all but dragging him toward their vehicle. "Do yourself a favor and shut up for once in your life, burger boy," Harrison snarled, and Desi was already reaching for her phone.

She picked Jack's number and waited for him to answer, watching as Harrison and MacGyver drive away. She didn't follow because as good as she was, she didn't want to risk Harrison spotting her, plus Jack had made it clear that she shouldn't make herself known until it was absolutely necessary.

"Dez, hey," Jack answered after a few signals, sounding out of breath. "I'm kinda busy, but I have a minute. Please tell me you're callin' with good news? Could use some of that."

Desi swallowed hard and rubbed a hand over her mouth before she spoke. "It's not good news, Jack," she told him, and pretended she didn't hear his sharp intake of air. "That Murdoc guy was right, but I think it might actually be worse than what he told you - he didn't get to see them when they were alone. MacGyver looks awful, and Harrison..." She hesitated. "He got physical with him, Jack. In the middle of a parking lot."

Jack was quiet for a moment, but when he spoke his voice was low and dangerous. "What did he do?"

"He grabbed him by his elbow," Desi started. "Dragged him to the car-"

"I'm coming home," Jack interjected quietly, some shuffling sounding in the background.

"Jack, maybe I could-"

"No, Dez," Jack cut her off again. "I'm coming home. They can find Kovacs without me, it... it doesn't matter." Desi's eyes widened a little because she knew how important this mission was to Jack, but... it seemed like MacGyver was more important.

"What should I do in the meantime?" she asked, managing to hide her shock at Jack's declaration. "If you don't want me to deal with Harrison, I mean."

"Check on Riley for me," Jack replied, and she could hear him moving around, clearly throwing shit into a bag so he could get on a flight. "I'll send you a picture and her address. I know this asshole seems to be focusing on Mac, but I wanna make sure she's okay too. Then maybe head to the Phoenix and see if you can get yourself a job - I debriefed Matty on you when I thought you were gonna work with the team, I'm sure she'd be happy to have you."

"Alright, I'll try," Desi says. "Should I tell her you're coming back?"

"No," Jack replied, and his voice got this edge that Desi couldn't quite read. "I don't want Harrison to accidentally find out I'm coming back. Fuck, I should've-" He cut off and suddenly Desi knew what she was hearing - guilt. Guilt mixed with something else. "How did I read this guy so wrong, Desi?"

Comfort wasn't Desi's strong suit, but she liked Jack - always had - and she was willing to try for him. "I don't know, Jack. You worked with him in special forces - we both know that's a different environment, one where a lot more rough bullshit between people gets overlooked. Just try to focus on getting back here, okay? I'm sure MacGyver will be fine until then."

* * *

Sighing, Mac curled up on his bed, closing his eyes and trying to get himself together. After he had gotten home after talking to that fence he had just... lied down and hadn't moved since, too tired to even care about it. He felt like he was running on fumes and he wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to keep going like this. He stared at his phone, his thumb hovering over Jack's name, but just like the ten times before, he set the phone aside, barely stopping himself from falling apart.

He felt pathetic, just like Harrison told him he was. He was a grown man, for fuck's sake, he should have been able to stand up for himself - but every time he tried, Harrison just found a new way to cut him off at the knees. And the looks that he gave Mac sometimes, like the one on the plane after their third mission together... those scared Mac more than he would like to admit.

The sound of his doorbell broke him out of his thoughts, and he frowned before remembering he had actually started locking his door after Harrison had showed up uninvited on his first day. Mac forced himself to stand and ran a hand through his too-long, unwashed hair before he headed to the door... and speak of the devil, there was Harrison.

He was holding a few pizza boxes and a six-pack on top of that, and while that was... surprising, Mac was too exhausted to care. "What are you doing here?" he asked, not in the mood for Harrison's games, but he knew that if he shut the door in his face Harrison would probably kick it in.

"I'm here with a peace offering," Harrison said, and Mac managed to bite his tongue to keep in a humorless sound. "Can I come in?" Mac looked at him for a moment before he stepped aside, grinding his molars together when Harrison walked past him to set the pizzas and beer on the counter in the kitchen. When he turned back toward Mac there was an expression on his face that Mac didn't recognize it. "Look, MacGyver... I'm sorry about the shit I've put you through. Think we can move past it?"

Mac barely held back a snort because if Harrison thought that an apology like that was enough to make up for everything, then he was very much mistaken. Mac also doubted Harrison was being honest because why would he be? Why the sudden change of heart? But at the same time, he was worried how Harrison would react if he kicked him out, so maybe... maybe having a beer with him wouldn't be that bad and then Mac would be able to get more rest once he got rid of him.

"Don't wanna talk? That's fair, I guess." Harrison shrugged his shoulders and opened up the first pizza box, which was a plain cheese. Not Mac's favorite, but not the most repulsive option. He also cracked a couple of beers open and handed one to Mac, which he accepted purely on reflex as he was used to Jack or Bozer handing him one. They went out on the deck with Harrison carrying the pizza, and sat down on opposite sides of the picnic table.

Mac took a sip of his beer and after a moment he also grabbed a pizza slice, chewing it slowly and wondering what Harrison was planning to achieve here. Murdoc's words rang in his head, how Murdoc had called Harrison a monster that craved only destruction, and he couldn't help but shudder a little. No matter how... differently Harrison was acting in this moment, Mac still didn't trust him and wanted him out of the house as soon as possible.

The pizza was good, but the beer... it tasted funny and for a second Mac wasn't sure why as he took another sip. It wasn't a brand that he usually bought, and it was pretty dark and strong... but it shouldn't have tasted so salty.

By the time he realized what that flavor was from - Rohypnol, or something like it - the bottle was slipping from his trembling hands and the world was spinning around him. He was panicking, but it was a far away feeling, like an out of body experience... at least until Mac felt Harrison dragging him up off the bench.

He tried fighting him, struggling against his hold, but his limbs felt heavy and he was too slow and too weak to do anything. Harrison just laughed loudly and it was a sound that made Mac panic even more as he was being dragged into the house. "You know, everyone says you're a genius, but they're so wrong," Harrison said with a chuckle. "You're so stupid, did you really think I felt _sorry_ about everything? Silly little nerd."

Harrison threw him up against the nearest wall as soon as they were inside, making pictures and decor rattle. Mac wanted to punch him in the face, scratch his eyes out or knee him in the balls, but his body just wouldn't cooperate - his limbs felt like they were full of cement, and he gasped feebly when Harrison put a hand around his throat and squeeze.

"I've got one question for you, _Angus_ ," Harrison sneered, cutting off Mac's air with his grip. "What's the code to Helman's cell? I know you know it."

Black spots started dancing in Mac's vision and he gulped in a breath when Harrison loosened his grip his throat, only to lose all the air when he got punched in the stomach. "I... I don't..." he wheezed out, groaning when he got slammed against the wall again. "P-please, let me go."

Harrison let him go, all right - he threw Mac on the floor and dropped down on top of him, straddling his waist. He grabbed Mac's flailing wrists in one hand and pinned them over his head, and his other hand punched Mac in the face so hard his teeth cut the inside of his cheek. "Tell me the damn code, MacGyver!" Harrison shouted, right in his face, spit flying. "You won't like what happens if you don't."

And Mac didn't know if it was because of the drug, the pain, or both, but the numbers were right there and he barely stopped himself from saying them out loud. His clouded brain knew that even if he told Harrison what he wanted to know it would end badly for him anyway... but he also knew the drug was going to make him talk any second now.

"Five, eight, nine, nine, seven, one," he mumbled, internally panicking until his brain realized he had given Harrison the code that would open the cell... but also alert the Phoenix that there was a breach.

"Good boy," Harrison said with a cold smirk that scared Mac even more, and then he stood up... but only to start dragging Mac toward his bedroom and tossing him on the mattress once they got there.

Mac tried to struggle again and managed to push at Harrison's face, but all that got him was a slap on his already bruising cheek. "Now that's not very nice," Harrison chided, and... and he was crawling on top of Mac's body and ripping open his belt. "If you behave, this will hurt a whole lot less."

Mac's vision started blurring with tears and he felt like he was on the verge of passing out, but he fought to stay awake. He tried to struggle, but Harrison pinned his wrists over his head again, his other hand ripping his shirt open, the buttons flying everywhere. "Please, s-stop, please," Mac whimpered when Harrison ran his hand up and down his chest before sliding lower to hook his fingers over the waistband of his jeans.

"You think begging's going to help you?" Harrison chuckled, leaning down and pressing his lips to Mac's neck, biting down, his hand slipping into his jeans to grip his hip tightly. "It won't."

Mac felt hot tears run out of his eyes, streaking down his cheeks and temples, a sob catching in his throat and making it feel like he couldn't breathe. He wanted to thrash and scream when Harrison's hand moved from his hip to Mac's cock, palming it through his underwear before squeezing too hard. "Mhmm, you're so responsive," Harrison said, licking a hot, disgusting stripe up Mac's cheek. "I can't wait to get inside you, make you scream for me."

A part of Mac wished he would have passed out so he wouldn't have felt anything, but the rest of him tried to fight. It was pointless because Harrison's grip was firm and Mac was too weak to push him off because of the drug. "Please, don't," he sobbed, whimpering when Harrison squeezed his cock again and started rubbing his palm against it. "Stop, p-please."

"That's right, keep begging like a whore that you are," Harrison rasped out in aroused voice, rolling his hips down and thrusting against Mac's thigh. "At least that you're good at."

Mac sobbed again, trying and failing to push Harrison off once again, and he got backhanded for his efforts, stars bursting in front of his eyes. And just when he felt Harrison's hands yanking at his underwear, his weight disappeared from on top of Mac's body, and there was a loud thump that signaled he landed on the floor.

The next few seconds were a blur of color and motion that Mac couldn't focus on, and then there was a rough hand touching his cheek with surprising gentleness. "Mac? Oh God, Mac, can you hear me?"

Mac flinched away from that touch with a loud sob, his brain not quite registering that it wasn't Harrison's voice talking to him, that it wasn't his hand touching his face. His wrists weren't pinned down anymore, so he tried to push away... someone, even though his arms felt too heavy and it almost hurt to move. "Mac, Mac, it's me," the voice said again, shaking and breaking, and it... it didn't make any sense.

Because that voice... it sounded like Jack. "Y-You're not here," he whispered, barely able to talk thanks to the drugs and the fear. "You're n-not real."

His eyes focused, though, and they showed him the truth: Jack was hovering over him, his hands catching Mac's and squeezing his fingers in reassurance. "Mac, I swear to you, I'm right here," Jack said, and a sob followed the words, ripping its way out of his throat. "I'm here and I'm so fucking sorry I left."

"N-no, you're... you..." Mac mumbled, not even sure what he was trying to say. Jack's hands felt real in his and he tried to focus on his touch, hoping it would ground him, but the drug was still in his system and he felt like he was falling. "J-Jack," he gasped, more tears rolling down his cheeks, and he suddenly couldn't breathe, his lungs tightening, and it _hurt_. "J-Jack, I'm- help m-me."

Jack's whole expression radiated pain, and he freed one of his hands to touch Mac's cheek again. He leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, putting their joined hands on his own chest. "You're panicking, Mac. Try to match your breathing to mine, okay? Nice and slow, deep and easy. It's just you and me, Harrison ran off, you won't ever need to worry about him again."

The mention of Harrison's name made him whimper, but Mac focused on Jack's heartbeat under his hand and Jack's face so close to his. He didn't close his eyes, looking into Jack's brown ones, and after a moment he gulped in air, his lungs working again. Jack pulled back a moment later and Mac immediately missed having him so close, but he was still sitting on the edge of the mattress, gripping Mac's hand tightly.

"Jack, I-" Mac mumbled, suddenly realizing something. "I... I told him, I- I tried not to, b-but I told him-"

"Shhh, easy," Jack soothed, stroking his free hand gently through Mac's hair, pushing it away from his face and not seeming to care that it was dirty. "What did he want?"

"The c-code," Mac managed to say, blinking hard and leaning into Jack's touch. "The code for... Helman's cell. I gave h-him the one that will... trigger an alarm."

Something dark shined in Jack's eyes, but it was gone before Mac could concentrate long enough to really register it. "That's good, you did good," Jack murmured, rubbing the skin on Mac's hand with his thumb. "It's going to be okay." Mac's breath hitched, but Jack's hand in his hair helped him focus even though the world was still spinning around him. "-give you?" He heard Jack's voice and he realized he missed some of what he just said. "Mac, look at me." Jack's voice was soft and gentle, a pleasant rumble that Mac had missed _so_ _much_. "What did he give you? And how bad are you hurt?"

"I think... Rohypnol?" Mac guessed, remembering the salty taste to the beer. For all he knew it was on the pizza too. "I-I'm not hurt, just... he hit me a few times."

He was suddenly aware of how exposed he was and his face flushed scarlet. Before he could ask Jack to cover him up it was already happening - those calloused fingers pulled up his pants, careful not to touch anywhere private as Jack buttoned and zipped them. Then he was stripping off the flak jacket he was wearing and draping it over Mac like a blanket.

"Just lay there, okay?" Jack murmured, squeezing Mac's hand before letting it go. "I have to call Matty and tell her that Harrison needs to be brought in."

A new wave of panic surged through Mac and he tried to reach out for Jack, but his hands got tangled in the jacket. "D-don't go, please," he whimpered, looking at Jack with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, don't leave me, please-"

"Hey, it's okay," Jack said, fingers tangled in Mac's hair, thumb stroking the skin of his forehead. "I'm not leaving you, hoss, I just need a hand to grab my phone." He shifted a little and pulled the device out of his back pocket, and Mac felt himself relax a little. He watched as Jack called Matty and put the phone to his ear, eyes going dark with anger as his mouth turned down in a frown; Mac could tell when she answered because the lines in Jack's face got deeper. "Matty, it's me. You need to deploy the tac team to the black site where Murdoc is. Harrison's on his way there as we speak and he's gonna try and break Helman out."

There must have been silence on the line for a moment, because Jack was clearly waiting and Mac nudged his knee enough times until Jack understood and put the phone on speaker. "-talking about?" Mac heard Matty ask, her voice confused. "Why would he even-"

"Matty, do as I say, or I swear to god I' gonna make your life a living hell," Jack growled, and Matty fell silent before Mac heard her muttering orders to someone. "I'm with Mac, by the way," Jack added, his voice full of anger. "At which point were you going to tell me that he looks like a ghost?"

"Jack, I - " Matty started, but didn't get a chance to finish.

Jack rolled right over her, his face flushing the way it did only when he was truly pissed. "He's dropped weight, he can barely keep his eyes open, and you're gonna tell me _none_ of you noticed something was wrong? I was callin' you for updates, Matty, not lies."

"Believe it or not, Dalton, I have more agents to keep track of than MacGyver!" Matty snapped, and Mac couldn't help the way he flinched. He heard her take a calming breath before she continued, "And as I recall, _you_ were the one who told me Harrison could be trusted after Nguyen fell through."

"I know and that's on me," Jack said quietly, and even with his mind clouded Mac didn't miss the self-loathing lacing Jack's voice. "But I did trust him, Matty, and I wasn't here, so I couldn't see that something was wrong, but _you_ were. All of you." Jack paused to take a deep breath and Mac tried to concentrate on staying awake but it was hard. He felt warm under Jack's jacket that smells of gunpowder and _Jack_ and he... he just wanted to sleep. "How could you not have noticed? I don't even know what happened yet, but he looks _awful_ and the only person who noticed was fucking _Murdoc_." Mac heard Matty gasp quietly and he also forced himself to focus because... how did Jack know that? "That's right, Matty," Jack growled. "Murdoc called me, saying Mac's in trouble. _Murdoc_."

"What?" Mac rasped out, temporarily silencing both Matty and Jack. He cleared his throat and tried to speak again, his voice sounding thin and far away. "Murdoc... called you?"

"Yeah, he did," Jack confirmed, stroking his fingers through Mac's hair again, his tone completely different when he was talking to Mac. It was soft and... and almost affectionate, which Mac knew must have been the drugs talking. "If I didn't know better I'd say he was worried about you. Told me how the whole time you were in there Harrison couldn't stop looking at Helman."

"Great, now I owe Murdoc," Mac mumbled, closing his eyes and shifting closer to Jack, leaning into his touch.

"Don't worry about that now," Jack murmured. "I'm just glad he called me, I don't care that he's gonna gloat about that for the rest of his life. You're all that matters." Mac knew the drugs were playing tricks with his mind, but his heart still fluttered when he heard the emotions in Jack's voice.

He almost forgot that Matty was still on the line so he startled when she said, "Jack, I'm... I didn't-"

Jack took in a deep, steadying breath, those dark eyes focused on Mac's face. "We'll talk about it later, Matty. I don't wanna say something I'll regret." He paused. "Call me once you've got Harrison in custody. I wanna have a chat with him... one on one, you know? And give Desi a job, she deserves it." He hung up before Matty could reply, tossing his phone on the mattress. "You think you can sit up, Mac? As much as it sucks, moving around will help get the drugs outta your system faster."

"Mhmm, what?" Mac mumbled, blinking when Jack started getting blurry. "M'so tired."

He curled up more under Jack's jacket, pressing his nose against the material and closing his eyes, whining when Jack gently turned him on his back. "You've gotta stay awake, buddy," he said softly. "I know it sucks, but let's try to sit up, okay?"

Mac made a noise of protest when Jack's hands went around his shoulders and lifted him, the world spinning violently, but then he was pressed against Jack's body which was warm and comfortable. He pushed his face into Jack's neck and squeezed his eyes shut, fending off nausea and trying to focus on the feeling of Jack's beard against his skin. "It's okay, Mac, I've got you," Jack whispered near his ear, arms wrapping around him, one hand going back up to tangle in his hair. "Is... this is okay, right? You want me touchin' you?"

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I-" Mac mumbled, snuggling closer, but suddenly stopped talking when he understood why Jack was asking, and a wave of memories crashed into his mind. Somehow he had kind of... forgotten about what happened and what could have happened, and now that it all came back to him Mac felt like he was going to be sick. His breath hitched and he started shaking uncontrollably against Jack. "J-Jack, he... he almost... Jack." His heart was racing again and once again he felt like he was falling and everything was spinning around him.

Jack started rocking him back and forth gently, cheek pressed against his hair. "Shhh, it's okay, Mac," he murmured, hugging him closer. His touches were feather light and gentle, so different from the way Harrison's hands had felt. "I'm so sorry, I wish I could've gotten here sooner. You're okay, he's never gonna touch you again, I swear."

Mac forced his arms to work and moved his hands to grip Jack's t-shirt and press himself even closer. He inhaled Jack's smell, just like he had with the jacket only he got more leather this time even though he was sure Jack hadn't worn any in months.

Eventually he stopped shaking and he didn't feel so dizzy anymore, but there was still this fear inside him that almost paralyzing. "Missed you," he mumbled, barely audible, but judging by how Jack's arms tightened around him, he must have heard him.

"I missed you too," Jack whispered, and shifted enough to slide an arm under Mac's knees. He lifted him up almost effortlessly and positioned them so that Jack's back was against the headboard and Mac was practically in his lap, leaning against his chest between Jack's spread legs. "I know you wanna go to sleep, Mac, but it's not a good idea."

"Don't think I have much choice," Mac heard himself say from a great distance, already fading out of consciousness. Before everything went dark, he added one last thing: "Please don't leave me again."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! I hope you're all doing well considering what's currently happening around the world. Stay safe and most importantly, STAY HOME!
> 
> And enjoy the new chapter :)

Squeezing his eyes shut, Jack tightened his arms around Mac and cursed every choice he had made in the last few months. His heart broke when Mac had begged him not to leave him before he had passed out and now he felt like crying. While he had no idea what Harrison had done to him before today, it must have been awful for Mac to become a shell of himself... and this was all Jack's fault.

He also couldn't believe that Harrison had managed to fool him like that. He had thought the dude was a stand-up guy and instead he turned out to not only be a psycho, but the kind of psycho that had been abusing Mac for months, the kind that almost- no, Jack couldn't think about that.

His mind started to work practically, because that was what he had been trained to do in a crisis, and the practical thing was to slip out from behind Mac and go across the house to shut and lock the front door. He also grabbed his bag and brought it into what used to be Bozer's room - apparently he had managed to move in with Leanna, which may have contributed to why he didn't know what was going on with Mac. Then he went out to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water for Mac and chugged one for himself - and threw the empty glass into the nearest wall, letting out a yell of frustration and anguish.

He listened closely but it didn't seem like the noise woke Mac up - he was deeply asleep because of the drug and right now it was a good thing. Exhaling shakily, Jack leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to get himself together for Mac's sake. He did this, he had brought Harrison into Mac's life, he had _left_ him with a monster - once Mac woke up clear-headed it would be a miracle if he still wanted Jack in his life. He couldn't believe how blind he had been, how stupid - he never should have left, but at the time he really had thought that was what Mac wanted.

Taking in a breath, Jack willed himself to keep it together, not for him but for Mac. Because until and unless Mac told him to fuck off, he was not going to leave, not again. He threw out the contaminated pizza and beer so Mac wouldn't have to see it, cleaned up the broken glass, then grabbed some of the trail mix Mac liked from the cabinet and took that back to the bedroom along with the water. Whenever Jack got drugged and slept it off he usually woke up hungry, and he imagined Mac would probably be the same way. He turned on the bedside lamp and took off his boots, pulling up the covers over Mac as he slid back in bed next to him.

Mac didn't even stir and Jack was paranoid enough that he leaned over him to make sure he was breathing. He was, so Jack gently combed his fingers through Mac's hair, his heart clenching when he saw the bags under his eyes and how pale he was. Once he was doing better, Jack was going to get everything out of him and find out what happened, and then he was going to kill Harrison with his bare hands.

Controlling his rage wasn't easy, but if he looked at Mac's face for long enough it calmed him down. He had loved him for so long now that the hollow ache in his chest was like an old friend. He didn't know how long he sat there like that, stroking his fingers through Mac's hair and watching him sleep, but eventually he shifted around a little, pushing into Jack's touch like a cat. His eyes fluttered open, and Jack saw the moment where he realized where he was and remembered what happened.

"Jack?" he asked, so softly that if Jack wasn't as close as he was he wouldn't have heard it. "Why are you crying?"

Jack startled a little and quickly wiped his face with his hand. He didn't even notice he was crying and the last thing Mac needed was Jack falling apart and being a mess. "Sorry, buddy," he said quietly, clearing his throat. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," was Mac's response, before he swallowed hard and glanced away. "But better, with you."

His left cheek was bruising purple and black, and Jack swore under his breath when he saw it. "Lemme go get you an ice pack, okay? That'll help bring the swelling down. Is there anything else you want?"

"Some water maybe?" Mac asked quietly, and Jack brushed his hair again.

"I've got you covered. Water is right here and I'll be right back with the ice pack." Mac seemed to be reluctant to let Jack go, so Jack grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. "I'll be right back, I promise. Just goin' to the kitchen, that's it."

He got up and went back out to the kitchen, turning off the lights and drawing the curtains before he grabbed an ice pack from the freezer. He wrapped it in a dish towel so it wasn't as abrasive and went back into the bedroom, crawling back on the bed and slipping an arm around Mac's shoulders. "Here, stick this on there for a while, okay?"

Mac did as he was told, hissing when he pressed the ice pack to his cheek. He snuggled closer into Jack's embrace and for a moment Jack didn't even dare to breathe because a drugged Mac cuddling up to him was one thing, but this was different... unless he was still affected by the drug.

He shivered a little and Jack hugged him closer, barely stopping himself from kissing the top of his head. "I'm so sorry, Mac," he whispered, unable to hold back the words any longer. "This is all my fault, I'm so sorry."

Mac shook his head almost immediately, curling up until he was basically in Jack's lap again. "Jack, you... as much as I didn't want you to leave, I know you had to. And you never would've..." He trailed off and cleared his throat, the fingers of the hand not holding the ice pack digging into the material of Jack's jeans. "You never would've sent _him_ to watch my six if you knew what he really was." A bitter laugh. "Even Murdoc didn't like him."

"I can't believe how blind I've been," Jack said, his heart heavy with guilt. "I should've... looked into him more, I should've _done_ more." He sighed and rubbed Mac's back with his hand, not missing the way Mac seemed to lean into his touch. "Mac, I... I know it's probably too soon and it's the last thing you wanna talk about, but... could you tell me what happened? Not just today, but... from day one?"

Mac was quiet for a long moment, long enough that Jack thought maybe he had fallen asleep, but his breathing wasn't right for that. "He broke into my house on the first day," Mac started, the good side of his face pressed against Jack's neck. "Around everybody else he was fine, friendly even - but when it was just the two of us, it was like a switch had been flipped. He got mean... and the way he'd look at me sometimes... well, I guess I know what he wanted from me."

Jack took a deep breath to control his temper and tightened his arm around Mac. "Mean how?" he asked quietly, doing his best to keep the anger out of his voice.

"He would... you know how we bicker sometimes, you and I?" Mac said, his free hand drawing random patterns on Jack's chest. "How you'd teasingly call me a nerd or something... it was like that only without the teasing part. He would call me names, comment on my appearance, the way I do my job... or the paperclips."

Jack breathed in and out carefully, barely keeping a leash on his anger. "What else?" he asked through gritted teeth, knowing that he was tensing up and unable to stop it.

"I... he never hit me until tonight, but sometimes he'd... grab me?" Mac's tone was hesitant, and he rubbed his elbow unconsciously. "If there were bruises they were nowhere anyone could see... but the whole thing started getting to me. I guess I started... not caring, you know?"

Jack closed his eyes for a second, barely stifling a whimper. He could picture it so clearly, Mac just... withdrawing and putting up the walls, not taking care of himself and probably being exhausted, both mentally and physically. "I... at first, before it got really bad and I thought he was just a jerk..." Mac started, so quietly that Jack could barely hear him, "I thought that maybe you... that it was your way of getting back at me. For Nigeria."

Jack felt himself blanch, and for a second he was afraid he might pass out. "What?" he whispered, horrified. "Mac, I... I know I'm not a good person... but there's no way I would have asked him to replace me if I knew he was such an asshole." He took in a shuddering breath and started to pull away from Mac, even though that was the last thing he wanted to do, his chest aching in a way that had nothing to do with how hopelessly in love he was. "But if you... maybe I should go, huh? I... I'm sorry, Mac. I know that's probably hard for you to believe, but I'm so damn sorry."

Mac moved faster than Jack had expected him to, tossing the ice pack aside and clinging to Jack's shirt, his grip surprisingly strong considering the state he was in. "No, no, please don't leave me," he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth in a rush. It was enough to make Jack still because he would never deny Mac anything. "Jack, I... I do believe you, why wouldn't I? But it's not your fault, you don't need to apologize," he whispered, and when Jack stopped trying to get away, Mac cuddled close again, resting his head on Jack's shoulder. "You didn't know."

Jack hesitated for a moment before he slipped his arms around Mac, squeezing him tight. Guilt was clawing at his insides, and while it was mostly about Harrison, there was a part of him that felt terrible because he was getting something completely different out of this embrace than Mac was. "It's nice of you to say that, Mac, but it's gonna take me a long time to believe that," he said, resting his cheek on Mac's hair and shutting his eyes. "I'm a fucking awful partner and an even worse friend."

"That's not true," Mac protested softly. "You're a great partner, the best one I've ever had. I know things were... off before you left," he added quietly. "And I know it was my fault, I... I ruined everything when I ran to Nigeria." He sighed quietly, but before Jack could reply he was talking again: "But I didn't realize just how badly I fucked up until you... you called me a good friend. And shook my hand before you left. I know I didn't deserve anything more, but it... it felt like you ripped my heart out."

Jack could relate to that whole heart-ripping thing, because that was what he was going through now. "Mac, no," he said, and before he could think better of it one of his hands was on Mac's face, tilting his head back so he could look him in the eyes. "Did I wish that you'd let me come with you to Nigeria, or at least told me where you were going? Of course. I swear to you, I thought... I thought the distance was what you wanted, but it was the last thing _I_ wanted."

Mac was shaking his head before Jack was done talking. "I wanted distance, yes, but... not from you. Never from you, Jack. I... I missed you every day while I was gone." He sniffled a little and Jack was alarmed to see fresh tears in Mac's eyes. "I handled it badly and it... it cost me you. Biggest mistake of my life." He turned his gaze away and snuggled into Jack's chest again. "When... when do you have to go back?"

"I'm not going back." The words fell out of Jack's mouth without his consent, but as soon as he heard them he knew they were true. "If you want me around, then I'm not going anywhere again. And Nigeria didn't cost you anything, Mac... we're still friends." He paused, hesitating before he asked, "We... we are friends, right?"

"Of course we are," Mac said softly, but there was an emotional edge to his voice that Jack couldn't quite read. Shifting, Mac tilted his head, looking at Jack with those gorgeous blue eyes that Jack had missed every day. "But what do you mean you're not going back?" he asked quietly, looking confused. "You... Kovacs is still out there, right? It means so much to you to get him, why... why would you stay?" His eyes widened a little and his breath hitched. "Did they kick you out because you came back to help me? I'm sure we could get you back-"

"No." It took every ounce of Jack's self-control to not close the distance between them and kiss Mac breathless. Two things stopped him, though: first, he was pretty sure Mac wouldn't have been on board with that in the slightest, and second, he still had drugs in his system. "No, they didn't kick me out. I quit. I'm sure your old man is gonna get an angry phone call about it but I don't care, Mac. You're more important than any of that."

Mac blinked those baby blues up at him, knocking all the air out Jack's lungs. "But... but Kovacs-"

"It doesn't matter, Mac," Jack interjected softly. "They can find him without me, I'm sure. I never should've left in the first place, I'm... you're my number one priority. You always have been." Jack swallowed hard, tightening his arms around Mac to stop himself from reaching and cupping Mac's cheek. "I'm sorry I forgot about it for a while."

Mac's gaze searched his face for a moment, and then something impossible happened - he leaned in and pressed his lips to Jack's in a kiss. It was too hard and a little clumsy, the angle all kinds of wrong, but Jack wasn't paying attention to anything besides the warmth of Mac's mouth against his own and how perfect it felt. Before he could kiss back, however, Mac was pulling away, his eyes huge. "Oh God, Jack, I'm so sorry, fuck - "

Jack cut him off by pressing their lips together in another kiss, much softer than the first one. He shifted a little so that the angle was better and after a second Mac kissed him back. Their lips moved together slowly, parting and softly touching again, and while the kiss was chaste and innocent, it was the best kiss of Jack's life.

After a moment they broke apart and Mac was staring at Jack with huge eyes. "You... what?" he breathed out, blinking rapidly like he couldn't believe this is real, and honestly, Jack could relate. "Jack?"

"I love you," Jack blurted out, and Mac's eyes got impossibly larger. Once he started talking he couldn't seem to stop, the words tumbling out over each other. "I've loved you for so long I've forgotten how to do anything else. I've felt this way since Afghanistan and it scared me shitless because I thought there was no way you could ever feel the same way... but I can't hide it anymore, Mac. Not after tonight."

Mac continued to stare at him and then he reached out with a trembling hand to brush his fingers against Jack's stubble. "I love you too," he whispered, and Jack's heart almost exploded. "I have for years, I... I love you so much."

Jack made a tiny sound and leaned forward to press their foreheads together, closing his eyes to stop fresh tears from falling. "God, I'm... I'm such an idiot," he whispered. "I never should've left you alone, I'm so sorry."

Mac's hands framed his face, thumbs rubbing over his cheekbones, fingers feeling at the short hair on the back of Jack's head. "It's okay," Mac whispered back, and their faces were so close together that their lips brushed when he spoke. "It was okay as soon as you came through that door." He kissed Jack again, and this time it was deeper, his tongue slipping into Jack's mouth.

Jack made a sound in the back of his throat and kissed back, a part of him wondering if maybe he had died and somehow accidentally had ended up in heaven. Their tongue slid together perfectly and Jack settled one hand on Mac's waist while he kept his other arm wrapped tightly around him.

Mac was soft and pliant in his hold and it wasn't until he moaned quietly into his mouth that Jack remembered everything that had happened earlier. "Baby, maybe we should... slow down," he murmured against Mac's lips, pulling back just far enough to speak. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better, I think," Mac replied, kissing Jack again, like he couldn't get enough of his mouth. "Not as dizzy... my face hurts, but I think I'll live." Another kiss, light, but intoxicating. "That's thanks to you, by the way. I'm pretty sure if he'd gotten his way he would've... I'm not sure I would've been alive at the end of that."

Jack made a wounded sound and hugged Mac tighter, shuddering when he thought about what could have happened if he had gotten there later, or if Murdoc hadn't decided to call him. "I'm gonna kill him for everything he's done to you," he said quietly, gently running his hand up and down Mac's side. He leaned in again, brushing their lips together, but before he could properly kiss him again his phone started ringing, startling them both. Mac jumped more than Jack which was perfectly understandable, so Jack held him tighter and reached for his phone, tensing when he saw the caller's ID. "It's... it's Matty."

Mac leaned into him and settled his head back on Jack's shoulder. "Then you should answer it," he said softly. "You did tell her to call once they had Harrison." His voice hitched a little on the name, but Jack didn't call him out on it, just answered Matty's call and put it on speakerphone.

Before he could say anything, she was talking: "We've got Harrison in custody down in one of the interrogation rooms. He did try to break Helman out, and after Riley did some digging, we found out why."

"He's Helman's son," Riley said, her tone subdued. "Hey... Mac? I'm... I'm really sorry. I know it doesn't begin to make up for what happened, but... I should've paid more attention."

"It's okay," Mac said softly, and Jack bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying something he might have regretted. He didn't want to be angry at Riley, especially her, but there was no denying that they really had fucked up here.

"No, it's not okay," Riley said quietly. "And I'm sure Jack is going to yell at us when he gets here and we sure as hell deserve it."

"Maybe... maybe I'll go easy on the yelling," Jack said, doing his best to gentle his voice. "I already read Matty the riot act."

"Yes, you did," a new voice interjected, and Jack felt Mac tense when he realized it was his father's. "And you were absolutely right, Dalton. We were all negligent. And Angus?" When Mac made a questioning sound, James continued, "Like Riley said, it doesn't mean much... but I'm so sorry, son."

"It's... it's fine," Mac murmured, and Jack felt like screaming. "It's like Matty said, I'm... there are more agents at the Phoenix, I'm not-"

"I shouldn't have said that, Mac," Matty interjected softly, and Jack could hear how emotional her voice was. "I was reacting to Dalton attacking me - you're family, we never should've missed it."

They were all silent for a moment and Jack just held Mac close, gently rubbing his arm. "Are you okay, Angus?" James asked quietly after a moment. "Dalton didn't say what happened today when he called Matty earlier."

Jack felt Mac tense again and when their eyes met Mac gave him a tiny nod. Sighing, Jack hugged him closer and said, "No, he's not okay."

They all swore quietly, and now another voice joined them - Bozer. "Mac, I'm just echoing everybody else now but I'm so sorry," he said, and he sounded sad and regretful enough that Jack knew he couldn't yell at him if he tried. "So what did this asshole do?"

Mac was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice was remarkably steady, but Jack could feel his fingers digging into his thigh. "He... he came over and acted like he wanted to be friends, like he was sorry for all the... the insults and the bruises. But he drugged my beer so I'd tell him the code to Helman's cell, and then he... he tried to rape me."

A loud clatter sounded on the line that made Mac flinch and cuddle closer to Jack, and Jack absently wondered if James had passed out, or punched the glass wall in the war room because he somehow knew he was the source of the sound. "H-he... he t-tried?" James shaking voice came through the phone next, and Jack barely recognized it. "So he... he didn't-"

"No, Dad, he..." Mac sounded startled by the concern in his father's voice, but he pressed on. "I could barely move, but I tried to fight him... and Jack got here in time."

"Do either of you want to see this bastard while he's in holding?" Matty asked, her voice steely in the way that it usually only was with terrorists and the worst of the worst. "Because I'll tell you right now, if James or I beat you to him, he won't be alive for very long."

"I wanna see him," Jack growled, but then his voice softened when he adds, "But I can't leave Mac. I don't want to."

"I'll go with you," Mac said quietly, already trying to sit up.

"Mac, baby, you can barely move," Jack protested, and it was only when he heard more gasps that he realized that the endearment kind of slipped out of his mouth. Mac just smiled at him and he didn't seem to mind that Jack had just outed them to the entire team.

"We can run an IV here, get those drugs out of your system faster," Matty offered, and of course she would have been the first one to recover from that little announcement.

"That... would be nice, actually," Mac admitted, and while nobody really wanted to end the call, the only way they were going to get to the Phoenix was if Jack drove. "We'll see you guys in a bit, okay?"

After Jack hung up, Mac rested his head against his shoulder for a moment. Then he shoved at Jack until he got the idea and stood, and Mac used him as support when he got up, shedding Jack's flak jacket momentarily to grab a new shirt from a pile of clean laundry.

He put it on, but he struggled with the buttons, his hands shaking just a bit. After a moment Jack grabbed his hands and lifted them to press a kiss to his knuckles and then he let go and quickly buttoned up Mac's shirt.

"Jack?" Mac murmured, chewing on his lower lip and fiddling with the chain that was around Jack's neck - the one that his dog tags were on, hidden under his t-shirt. "Do you think... could I wear that?" he asked quietly, and when Jack glanced at him he saw Mac's looking at his flak jacket lying on the bed.

"Sure, of course," Jack replied, leaning in to kiss his cheek and reaching around him to grab the jacket, draping it over Mac's shoulders. Something possessive sparked low in Jack's belly when he saw Mac in the jacket, DALTON printed over the upper left side, but he forced it back down - now was not the time for that, and considering what Mac had been through it might never be. "C'mon, let's go." He wrapped his arm around Mac and helped him through the house and out to Jack's rental car, which he had barely paid for in his haste to get to Mac's place earlier.

He helped Mac into the passenger seat and then went around the car and got behind the wheel. "Your GTO," Mac said after a moment when they got out of his driveway, and it sounded like he needed to force himself to think. "It's in my garage, I... I cleaned it out. I hid the keys in the house, I didn't... I didn't want _him_ to touch it."

Jack hadn't even thought about his car, but he was happy to know it was safe. "Thank you, Mac," he said, and reached out with one hand, offering it for Mac to hold. He did, dragging it into his lap to play with Jack's fingers, and that was fine, Jack could drive with his knees if it meant Mac felt better. "You know I'd burn that car for you, right? You're the priority, and I never want you to think you aren't again."

"That's sweet, Jack," Mac said, and when Jack glanced at him, Mac was smiling. "But I don't think that's going to be necessary. I'm fine with sharing your affection with the GTO."

Jack chuckled when he heard that and squeezed Mac's hand before relaxing so that Mac could continue to play with his fingers. They spent the ride to the Phoenix in silence, but it's not an awkward and uncomfortable kind of silence - Jack could tell Mac still felt the drugs, so he let him rest for as long as he could.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Here we go, the next chapter! I hope you're all staying safe and STAYING HOME! And if you're bored out of your mind... hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter.

Once they arrived, Jack parked in his usual spot in the Phoenix garage and slipped an arm around Mac again once they were out of the car. It was pretty late at night, so most of the employees had gone home, and the elevator ride and walk to the war room was uneventful.

When they walked through the door Riley was on top of them first, hugging both Jack and Mac tightly. "I'm so sorry, Mac," she whispered, and Jack's heart ached, because as angry as he was when he had talked to Matty that first time he knew that everybody felt terrible about what had happened.

When she pulled back Bozer was the next one to hug Mac and Riley turned to fully face Jack, her eyes wide and lower lip trembling. "Jack, I'm so sorry. I should've-"

"C'mere, baby girl," Jack murmured, and opened his arms, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head. "It's okay." Out of the corner of his eye he kept watching Mac and once Bozer let him go he saw Matty approach him hesitantly.

Mac crouched down so they were at eye level and opened his arms; Matty came in for the hug a lot quicker than she would have with most people. "I'm sorry, Mac," she said softly, and Mac murmured something near her ear that was too low for Jack to hear.

Once they broke apart and he stood up, James came over and pulled Mac in for a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Angus, I should've known something was wrong."

Again, Mac murmured something too quietly for Jack to hear and when they broke apart they all sat down in the armchairs around the war room. Mac dropped down in Jack's lap, not seeming to care about anyone else in the room, and Jack wrapped his arms around him right away, hugging him close.

"Can you... I know we fucked up, Angus," James said quietly. "And that we didn't notice you weren't okay, but... could you tell us what he did in those past few months?"

Jack felt Mac sigh and then he was talking, giving them pretty much the same version he had told Jack, and by the time he was done everyone was pale, looking distraught.

"Fucking hell," a voice said from the corner, and Jack jumped and then kicked himself for not noticing her when he saw Desi leaning in the corner of the room. "Sorry I didn't think it was legit, Jack."

"S'okay, Desi," Jack replied, and nudged Mac. "Angus MacGyver, this is Desiree Nguyen. She's the reason I managed to make it back when I did."

Mac shifted a little and looked at Desi, tilting his head like a confused puppy. "I remember you," he said, and Jack barely hid a smile when he saw Desi's eyes widen in shock. "You were there in the morning... when we were going to see that fence. You were carrying a bag of chips."

"Wow," Desi muttered, and she sounded impressed. "Guess I have to work on blending in a bit more." Her gaze shifted to Jack and to his surprise she actually smiled. "I was surprised when you told me you were dropping the mission just like that, Jack, but... I get it now."

"See? This old man makes sense every once in a while," Jack teased, and he hugged Mac closer.

"I've already talked to Langley," James said, looking at Jack and seeming... oddly unbothered by the fact that he and Mac had gotten together. "They're not happy that you bailed, but given your record and the fact that the intel you provided should lead to Kovacs's capture, they're not going to try and go over my head with disciplinary action. Also... I hate to admit this, but Murdoc was helpful in this scenario. I was thinking maybe we could give him back his visitations with Cassian."

Jack rolled his eyes, both because he didn't give a fuck about the CIA being happy or not, and because it still felt surreal that Murdoc had actually _helped_ out of his own free will. "That psycho's never going to let us live this down, isn't he?" he asked, and then he glanced down at Mac who looked adorable curled up like that, looking smaller in Jack's flak jacket... and Jack realized that Mac was dozing off.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Matty said, and she grabbed for a giant first aid kit that was on the coffee table, unfolding an IV pole and putting it next to the chair Jack and Mac were in. She put a hand on Mac's knee, which was enough to get him to look at her muzzily. "Here, let's do a saline drip and get those drugs out of you, huh?" Mac blinked in confusion, but didn't resist when Jack pulled his arm out of the jacket. He made a soft sound of pain when the cannula slid into the back of his hand, and a moment later James hung up an IV bag on the pole.

Mac stared at his hand for a moment before sighing and resting his head on Jack's shoulder again, snuggling close. And as much as Jack loved cuddling Mac and having him close, there was something he needed to do, so he gently brushed his fingers through Mac's hair, waiting for him to open his eyes.

"Hey, darlin'," he murmured low enough that only Mac could hear him. "Will you be okay for a while if I leave you here?" He didn't want to let him out of his sight, but he doubted Mac wanted to face Harrison again. "I need to take care of somethin'."

Mac frowned, but he nodded, so Jack eased out from underneath him, making sure he was comfortable in the chair before he kissed his forehead and headed for the door. He was only a little surprised when he felt someone following him and a moment later James pulled up level with him.

He didn't say anything until they were in the elevator, and then he punched the button for the basement. "Hope you don't mind me tagging along... but there's no way I'm not punching this asshole in the face after what I just heard."

"Be my guest," Jack said quietly, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes. By the time the elevator dinged quietly indicating they reached the basement Jack had shifted to a version of himself that he usually didn't like very much, once again feeling all the anger that he had felt earlier... only now he didn't have to control it.

They got out of the elevator and Jack followed James to the right interrogation room, stopping right before opening the door. "Give me a moment?" he asked quietly. "I won't kill him, I promise." He didn't want to take away a chance for James to have a word with Harrison and James must have seen it in his eyes because he nodded and stepped aside, heading for the observation room to watch.

Taking a deep breath, Jack entered the room, his blood instantly boiling when he saw Harrison sit behind a table with an easy grin on his face. "Why?" he asked quietly, clenching his hands in tight fists and not caring that his voice cracked.

"Really, Dalton? I don't even get a hello?" Harrison asked, his grin widening when his cavalier attitude made Jack growl. The expression on his face was mismatched with his eyes, which were blank in a way that even Murdoc's had never been. "How's the kid? Did you pick up where I left off?"

Jack barely stopped himself from lunging forward, gritting his teeth and exhaling through his nose. "I trusted you," he said quietly, ignoring what Harrison had just said. "We worked together, we served our country and we've been through some real shit together, and you..." Jack trailed off, shaking his head and trying to determine if Harrison had always been like that and Jack had been too blind to notice. "Why? What did he do to you?"

Harrison's face twisted. "It's not about what he did to _me_ , Dalton. My father is locked up like an animal because of that little twerp. He told me the whole story during one of our phone calls. He didn't _ask_ me to bail him out - he's always liked Murdoc more than me - but what else was I going to do?" He paused, and then that smile came back with a particularly dark edge. "Maybe I should've fucked him until he bled first and _then_ asked him for the code - better shot at getting the real one."

"Don't you dare talk about him like that," Jack growled, shaking with anger and barely standing still. "And your _father_ is a serial killer and a sociopath, he deserves to be locked up. Actually..." Jack trailed off, stepping closer. "He deserves to be dead. And so do you."

Harrison tilted his head, the smirk still on his face. "Where's the nerd anyway? Too scared to come see me?" Suddenly the smirk faded away, instantly, like someone turned the switch. "We're not that different, Dalton. We used to get along so well, remember?"

"I do," Jack said, staring hard at Harrison and leaning on the table in between them. "I also know I'm not proud of who I used to be, unlike you. I didn't enjoy it."

"Oh, bullshit," Harrison practically spit. "I saw you cutting throats and breaking bones with the best of them. You're just as much of a monster as me... maybe even more, since you're not... what did you call my father? A sociopath? Isn't that a genetic thing?"

"I was never sure, but now that I look at you I can tell that it most definitely is," Jack growled, his voice steady even though in the inside he was barely keeping it together. "And you know what? Maybe I _am_ a monster," Jack said, because that was nothing new. "But I never hurt anyone who was innocent. And I've followed the code and always had my brothers' backs. Unlike you, you... you betrayed everything we believed in."

"What a cute speech," Harrison drawled, leaning back in his chair. "Did you practice that at home?" He tilted his head again, watching Jack curiously. "You know what I can't figure out? Why that little geek is so... important to you. He's weak and pathetic... yet you dropped everything to come and save his pretty tight ass."

There was a loud thump from the observation room, and this time Jack was sure James punched something. He didn't look over his shoulder and didn't flinch, just kept staring into Harrison's eerily empty gray eyes. "He's the strongest, bravest man I know, and better than you and me in every possible way," Jack said lowly, and then before Harrison could open up his mouth again, he punched him in the nose so hard that it snapped instantly, blood spurting everywhere.

In response Harrison just laughed which was yet another proof how insane he was. He grinned widely and with the blood on his face he looked like a character from a horror movie and Jack just wanted to kill him once and for all. "You know what I regret?" Harrison asked. "That I didn't get to fuck him before you showed up. He was crying so prettily earlier, begging me to stop..." The smirk on Harrison's face turned even more twisted. "Wish I could've gotten inside him, made him bleed and scream for me... I bet he would've come like a little whore that he is. And if he hadn't... I would've forced him to."

Jack's ears rang and his hand ached, but he didn't care. All he saw was red and he was more than ready to hit Harrison again - many times, repeatedly, until he shut up once and for all - but the door to the room banged open behind him and James rushed in, grabbing him by the handcuffs and throwing him out of the chair and across the room. "You son of a bitch," he seethed, and Jack understood that anger in his voice all too well. "Did you really think you could try to hurt my son like that and get away with it?"

"Honestly? That's exactly what I thought," Harrison said, looking James up and down. "Those first months were just a... trial run. I pushed and pushed, and he was so _miserable_... but none of you noticed." The sick grin on his face got even wider. "So I knew exactly how much you all care about the burger boy. Come on, if it wasn't for Dalton I would've taken everything I wanted from him and more." He shifted his gaze to Jack, raising his eyebrow. "You were the one thing I didn't expect. I had no idea you'd decide to visit in the middle of your mission."

"That's because you ain't smart enough to recognize when you're being followed," Jack sneered, and felt some satisfaction when genuine surprise flashed across Harrison's face. "But you know who did?"

"Me," Mac's voice said from the doorway, startling everyone. The IV was gone from his hand, but he was still wearing Jack's flak jacket, and other than the giant bruise on one side of his face he looked exactly like the confident, brash MacGyver that confronted terrorists. "Hey there, fuckface."

"Aw, look who's all brave now," Harrison sneered, and Jack almost snapped his neck when he saw the look Harrison gave Mac. "You weren't so confident back in your house when you were begging me to stop." He chuckled before his eyes widened a little when he saw the jacket Mac's wearing, and he smirked at Jack. "I see you branded your mutt. Nice."

A crack echoed through the room when Jack kicked Harrison hard with the steel toe of his boot, and he knew he had broken a rib and didn't give a damn. To his surprise, Mac came further into the room, until he could crouch down across from where Harrison was half-sprawled in the floor. "You're pathetic," Mac told him in a calm, soft voice, those beautiful blue eyes as hard as ice chips. "You've never felt good about yourself so you have a pathological need to tear other people down. Wonder if that's just how you were programmed, or if it has anything to do with your daddy issues?"

The smirk faded away from Harrison's face and his eyes went all blank. He growled and lunged toward Mac, but Jack stopped him before he could do much by stepping on his chest and pinning him to the floor with his boot. Mac didn't even flinch and Jack knew it was because Mac trusted him to have his back. "You wouldn't be so brave if Dalton wasn't here," Harrison hissed, and Mac rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, you said that already," he said calmly, tilting his head. "Keep talking like that and he's going to kill you right here."

"Should've just let you get shot out in the field," Harrison said, the words turning into a wheeze when Jack's foot pressed down harder, compressing his chest. "Could've... gotten the code another way."

"You keep talking like you actually accomplished something," James remarked, and Jack's ears perked up when he realized that was where Mac had gotten that level no-bullshit tone from. "But you didn't. Helman is still in the black site and Angus is in one piece, so I'd stop bragging."

"And you're gonna join your daddy dearest," Jack drawled. "But somewhere else, I'm sure, three sociopaths in one building would be a bit too much." Mac let out a soft sound that was almost a chuckle and he stood up, giving Jack a small smile that Jack couldn't help but return.

"Ah, I see how it is," Harrison wheezed out. "That's funny, Angus, you don't seem scared of Dalton... but we're so alike. Are you gonna fight him when he'll be the one to pin you down to have his way with you?"

Jack kicked Harrison in the face hard enough to send him skidding a few feet to the left, and thankfully he was unconscious and couldn't keep running at the mouth. "I'm gonna find an especially dark hole to drop this bastard in," James said. "Killing him would be a kindness he doesn't deserve."

"Killing him means he wins," Mac said quietly, and... Jack hadn't thought of it like that, but it made sense. "It means he was able to manipulate you into acting like the worst part of yourself."

"You have a point, but... I still want to take him out for what he put you through," Jack murmured, grabbing Mac's hand and squeezing it tightly. "And I would if you just said a word. Without hesitation." Just as the words left his mouth he realized that what he said made him sound exactly like a killing machine... like the monster that Harrison told him he was. He tensed a little, but then forced himself to relax, not wanting Mac to worry.

Mac smiled at him and tugged at his hand, seemingly unbothered by what Jack had just said, and the three of them walked out of the interrogation room, leaving Harrison bleeding on the floor. James locked it behind them and then told one of the Phoenix guards to get ready to transport their prisoner somewhere else. He put a hand on Mac's shoulder and squeezed lightly. "Why don't you two head home? I'll wrap things up with Harrison. And both of you take as much vacation time as you want - I don't want to see you back here for at least a week."

"Does that mean I have my job back?" Jack asked, his voice teasing, but on the inside he was... nervous, not that he would ever admit that out loud. Well, maybe to Mac he would.

James gave him an incredulous look that was all the answer Jack needed. "Are you kidding? Even if I wanted to fire you, Angus wouldn't let me."

Mac rolled his eyes and tugged on Jack's hand again. He said goodbye to his dad and then dragged Jack away, heading for an elevator. "Okay, spill," he said once they were inside, and when Jack raised his eyebrow at him, he stepped closer. "What's wrong?"

Jack looked into Mac's eyes for a moment before he sighed and glanced away. "I know I shouldn't let that asshole get to me, but..." He trailed off and Mac squeezed his fingers, prompting him to continue. "He said some stuff before you came in that... that really freaked me out. About how we weren't all that different if you really think about it."

"What?" Mac frowned. "Jack, that's not true, you're _nothing_ alike."

"That's sweet that you think that, baby," Jack said, looking at Mac and raising his free hand to brush the hair out of Mac's eyes. "But he also had a point. I worked with him on multiple occasions and... the things he did, I did them too. And I was very good at that."

Mac leaned into Jack's touch, his lips brushing against his palm as he blinked at him. "But I bet you didn't enjoy them like he did," he murmured, and... again, Mac had a point. Harrison was the type of guy who got off on other people's pain, and Jack had never been like that. "There's plenty of other things you're good at. Just because you've done bad things doesn't mean you're a bad person... besides, if you were like him you never would've helped me."

Jack sighed, leaning in to nuzzle Mac's cheek, his mind still blown that Mac actually wanted him that close, wanted to be with _him_. "I'd do anything for you. Anything," he whispered. "And I just... if you were scared of me that would kill me. And I'm worried I'll remind you of him... for many reasons." He sighed again. "I brought him into your life."

Mac's hand slipped out of Jack's, but only so he could frame Jack's face with both hands. "I'm never going to be scared of you, Jack," he said in that soft tone, the one that never failed to make Jack weak at the knees. "And you're never gonna remind me of him. Yes, you brought him into my life, but you didn't know what he was any more than I did."

Jack turned his head to kiss one of Mac's palms and he leans in, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you," he murmured, resting his hands on Mac's waist... and then he realized that they kept talking about him while it was Mac who had gotten hurt and Jack should have taken care of _him_. "Shit, baby," he breathed out, pulling away with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, I- are you okay? The IV helped?"

Mac smiled at him again and nodded, taking Jack's hand when the elevator opened and they started walking back to the rental car. "Yeah, I feel a lot better." He stifled a yawn. "Still tired, but not all sick at the same time." He squeezed Jack's fingers before they parted to get into the car, and took Jack's hand again as soon as it was offered. "Wouldn't mind passing out in bed with you for about twelve hours or so."

Jack's chest felt all warm when he heard that and he was not going to lie, he was looking forward to cuddling the shit out of Mac. "That sounds awesome, man, I can remember when was the last time I slept." He felt Mac's questioning gaze on him and he winced a little. "Things were getting pretty... hectic with Kovacs and we had just gotten from a long search when Desi called me. I jumped on the first plane back and then I was here." He paused when something else occurred to him. "Hey, you know that I... I can take the couch if you want. You've been through a lot today."

Mac frowned at him again, a cute little furrow appearing between his eyebrows. "I want you with me," he said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world and not something that made Jack's heart pound faster. "Besides, I doubt you've had an easy few months. Your back must be acting up, especially if you've been sleeping on floors."

Jack huffed out a quiet laugh. "Actually, everything kinda hurts, man. If I got to sleep on the floor I considered myself lucky. Better than sleeping outside."

"Mhmm, and I'm kind of getting the feeling that I'm not the only one who hasn't been eating that well," Mac mused, and Jack cursed his observational skills. "I mean, you're in a good shape, you have to be after running around so much... but you're thinner. And you seem tired."

"Jesus, I'm being attacked," Jack teased, and lifted Mac's hand to his mouth to kiss his knuckles when they hit a red light. "You're right, I feel like shit. But I'm so much better now that I'm with you."

The rest of the ride was quiet, and when they pulled into the driveway Jack took out his phone and let the rental company know they could pick up the car. They went inside, and as soon as Jack shut and locked the door behind them Mac had gotten his arms wrapped around his neck and his face buried in his neck.

"Hey, you," Jack murmured, wrapping his arms around Mac's waist and hugging him tightly. He closed his eyes for a moment and kissed Mac's temple, rubbing one hand up and down his back. "So, wanna go and crash? Or maybe a shower first?"

"Is that you way of telling me I'm a mess?" Mac mumbled, his lips moving against Jack's neck. "Because you're not being subtle."

Jack chuckled and hugged him closer, brushing his lips across his cheek next. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he said, and he felt Mac shiver in his arms. "But you kinda smell and so do I."

"True," Mac said, wrinkling his nose a little. He slipped out of Jack's grip and slid his hands to his shirt, pulling him toward the bathroom. "So let's go take a shower."

Jack's heart beat faster because it was obvious Mac wanted them to take a shower _together_ and that was... that was fine. "Baby, you sure?" Jack asked when they walked into the bathroom. "You sure you want me-"

"Jack," Mac interjected softly. "When I said I want you with me I meant everywhere. Always."

"Okay," Jack whispered, and he was helpless to do anything but watch as Mac slid off the flak jacket and started unbuttoning his shirt. And as much as Jack would have liked to crowd him against the wall and kiss him senseless, he didn't, figuring that wouldn't have been a good idea. He focused on removing his own clothes instead, and had to will his hands not to shake as he took off his shirt and opened his belt.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mac turn on the water and then Jack's heart jumped when Mac started taking off his pants. He turned his gaze away, not wanting to stare, and got rid of the rest of his clothes. He followed Mac into the shower, focusing on looking just on Mac's face and not lower - he didn't want to assume anything, especially after what had happened earlier.

When they stepped under the spray of the water Mac got closer and put his hands on Jack's chest. "I love you," he whispered, kissing the corner of Jack's mouth and exploring Jack's chest with his hands, and he frowned when his fingertips brushed over one of Jack's newest scar near his ribs. "What happened?"

"No big deal, just a little knife slash," Jack replied. He curled his fingers around Mac's wrist and moved his hand a little lower, so he could feel the pucker of tissue where he had gotten shot. "This one was worse, hurt like a bastard."

"I should've been there to watch your back," Mac commented, that divot back between his brows, and Jack couldn't resist the urge to kiss it.

"No, baby," Jack murmured, placing his hand over Mac's lips when he opened his mouth to protest. "It's been... things got real ugly a couple of times, you know? And Kovacs is the worst kind of bastard, I'd never want you to get too close to him." He sighed. "If you'd been there... I would've been worried sick about you the whole time. Could've gotten us both killed."

Mac squinted at him and licked his palm in protest, and Jack barked out a surprised laugh, taking his hand away. "You don't think I was worried about you?" Mac asked, a little incredulously. "I thought about you all the time, wondering if you were okay... or if I'd ever see you again." He touched Jack's cheek and leaned in to press their lips together. "You're the most important person in my life, Jack."

Jack felt like he was about to cry, so he blinked a few times and tried to keep a hold of his emotions. "That goes both ways, darlin'," he murmured, and since Mac kissed him Jack assumed it was okay to do it again. He placed his hands on Mac's hips and leaned in, pressing their lips together again, closing his eyes and getting lost in how good and warm Mac's mouth felt against his.

Mac smiled into the kiss and took a couple of steps back, until his back hit the shower wall and they were both being pelted by the spray from the shower. He made a soft sound and licked at Jack's bottom lip, and soon their tongues were sliding together in a slow, easy glide. He pulled Jack in even closer, their bodies pressed together from knees to chest.

Mac was soft and warm against him and they were so close - _too close_ , Jack's mind whispered - and it was driving Jack insane. Mac's hands were exploring his back, his gentle touch making him shiver, and he had to stifle a groan when Mac's fingers pressed against one of his more sensitive scars.

He wasn't sure how long they had been kissing like that, but after a while he realized he was starting to get hard and that was definitely not the right time for that. Turning his head, he broke the kiss, closing his eyes and panting, shuddering when he felt Mac's hot breath against his temple. "Give me a minute, darlin', okay?"

"What's wrong?" Mac asked, his voice raspy in a way that Jack had never heard before, lips touching Jack's skin. His hands moved up and down Jack's back, and then he squeezed his waist... and went conspicuously still, no doubt feeling Jack's reaction. When Jack glanced at him, his eyes were huge like saucers, but not with fear like Jack had expected... instead he almost looked surprised. "Oh," he whispered, cheeks flushing pink.

"Yeah, oh," Jack chuckled a little, and god, he didn't sound any better than Mac. "It's... you're driving me crazy, baby," he admitted quietly, shifting so that their bodies weren't pressed together so closely. "But that's fine, just... like I said, I need a moment."

Mac licked his lips and took a deep breath. "What if... what if I want to keep driving you crazy?"

Jack's brain short-circuited temporarily. "Mac, darlin', you don't have to-"

"I want to," Mac interjected, his lips twitching up at the corners, one hand sliding around to the front of Jack's body, resting on his abs. "And I think given our current positioning, you can call me Angus."

That was it for Jack's brain and it shut off again, his lips parted in surprise. "But... you hate being called by your name."

"No," Mac said softly, leaning in to brush his lips over Jack's stubble. "I hate when people who don't know me use it, or if someone uses it to make fun of me. You don't fall into those categories, so... I don't mind."

Jack reached up with one hand and pushed the damp hair out of Mac's eyes before he cupped his cheek. "Okay, Angus," he whispered, and he got to watch as Mac's pupils get bigger. "What exactly did you have in mind for driving me crazy?"

"Maybe something like this," Mac said, and those long gorgeous fingers wrapped around Jack's cock and gave him a slow, almost torturous stroke.

Jack's whole body shuddered and he let out a loud groan, his hips twitching. It had been so long since he had sex and a dangerous mission was no place for jacking off, so he needed to concentrate on not coming on the spot from the barest touch of Mac's fingers.

Mac only smirked in response and started stroking him slowly while he nipped on Jack's jaw, trailing his lips to Jack's ear. "Fuck, you're gorgeous," he murmured, and nipped on his earlobe.

Jack only shook harder when he heard that, leaning into Mac's embrace until he could rest his forehead on his shoulder. "Oh, baby, that's so good," he groaned out, bracing one arm on the wall and slipping the other one around Mac's waist. His hand tightened around Jack's cock, providing more friction, but he didn't move it any faster than he already did.

Jack was panting against his skin, thrusting slowly into his hand, and while the pace was driving him crazy... it was also intimate and Jack loved it. Mac's lips moved to his neck where he started sucking a bruise into his skin, his free arm wrapped tightly around Jack's shoulder.

Warmth was pooling low in Jack's belly and spreading into the rest of his body, and he knew that this wouldn't last nearly as long as he wanted it to. Mac thumbed over the head on his next up stroke and started moving faster, flicking his wrist in a way that destroyed Jack's remaining brain cells. He started making quiet guttural sounds against Mac's shoulder, unable to stop himself, hips twitching harder into Mac's hand.

Mac was mouthing on his neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses behind until his lips press against Jack's ear again. "Come on, Jack," he murmured in this low, deep voice that made Jack moan. "Come on, babe." He sucked on his earlobe and it only took two more strokes for Jack to come with a loud groan, spilling all over Mac's hand as he bit down on his shoulder. Mac moaned softly into his ear and worked him through it, letting go of his cock just as he started to get oversensitive.

Mac rinsed his hand off in the water and then grabbed Jack's face with both hands and pulled him in for a kiss. Jack kissed him back just as passionately before he crowded in closer and shifted one of his hands to Mac's hip, squeezing at the bone. "Angus, can I-"

"Yes, yeah, Jack," was what tripped out of Mac's mouth, breathless and aroused. "Whatever you want, you can have it."

Jack's cock twitched weakly at that and he groaned, kissing Mac harder. His grip on Mac's hip was tight enough to bruise, so he let go and after nipping on Mac's lower lip he dropped down to his knees, looking up at him with a smirk.

It was Mac's turn to groan, his head thumping back against the wall of the shower. His hands touched Jack's hair, which had grown out quite a bit since he had left, enough for Mac to run his fingers through it. He shuddered at the first touch of Jack's hand when he wrapped it around the base of his cock, sucking the head into his mouth and relishing the first taste of Mac that he got.

"Jack, oh god," Mac groaned when Jack's took him in deeper, and Jack couldn't help but moan when he heard his name fall from Mac's lips like that. He bobbed his head back and forth a few times before taking his hand of Mac's cock and swallowing around him, his throat fluttering.

It had been a long time since Jack had sucked a guy off, but he would like to think it was kind of like riding a bike. He was also a quick study and learned what Mac liked best as he held him in his throat for a moment before pulling off and starting all over again. He felt Mac's hands clench in his hair, tugging just enough to tingle, and Jack grasped Mac under his thighs when his legs started to shake.

He increased the pace a little, running his tongue over Mac's cock before swallowing around him again. Mac moaned loudly and his hips twitched a little, pushing his cock deeper down Jack's throat. "Sorry, sorry," Mac gasped, and it seemed like he was forcing himself to stay still, shaking even more. Jack just hummed around him and patted Mac's hip to get his attention, and he winked when Mac looked down at him.

Mac's mouth actually dropped open a little, which would be cute if Jack wasn't already somehow feeling the stirrings of arousal again. Mac's hips thrusted forward tentatively and Jack welcomed the intrusion, watching his face with unwavering focus as Mac started fucking his throat. It was submissive in a way that Jack wouldn't have allowed himself to be with anyone else, and when Mac buried his cock in him and stayed there, Jack swallowed around him again and didn't flinch.

Mac groaned and then slid one hand from Jack's hair to trace his lips with his finger, his blue eyes almost dark with desire. Jack shivered a little, but didn't move and then Mac's hand slid to the back of his neck to hold him in place and he started thrusting again, a bit harder.

He was still trembling all over and his movements were getting more erratic, gaze gone heavy lidded and unfocused. He thrusted in deep and stopped again, letting Jack's throat ripple and squeeze around him, and when he started moving this time he moaned loudly. "Jack, babe, I'm gonna come," he warned, but Jack only made an encouraging sound and wriggled closer. Two more pushed of Mac's hips and he was done, filling up Jack's mouth and whimpering with how good it felt.

Jack swallowed everything before releasing Mac's cock with an obscene sound, giving him a parting lick before standing up. Mac immediately pulled him into a hard kiss, groaning when he tasted himself on Jack's tongue and wrapping his arms tightly around Jack's neck. Jack kissed him back because of course he did, but a part of him still felt like he was dreaming.

Mac's hand flailed out and turns off the water, and then he was all but dragging Jack out of the shower, not even bothering with towels. "Bed, now," he panted out, yanking Jack in for another kiss. Oh, to be that young and horny again... except right about now Jack was feeling like he could go another round, so he couldn't say much.

He wrapped his arms around Mac's waist, devouring his mouth as he was backing him toward the bed. They were all wet, but Mac didn't seem to care and he dropped down on the mattress, pulling Jack down with him. The kiss was hard and sloppy and also perfect, and Jack groaned when Mac's fingernails scratched down his back.

Something about their positioning seemed familiar, and when he realized what it was Jack broke the kiss to pant against Mac's cheek. This was more or less the position he had found Harrison in on top of Mac a few hours ago, and a shudder crawled down Jack's spine that wasn't pleasant in the slightest. Mac's hands on his face brought him back to reality, along with the look of concern in his eyes. "Jack? What's wrong?"

Jack just shook his head, suddenly unable to stand this any longer, so he rolled them over. Mac landed on top of him with a huff and stared down at him in confusion and Jack swallowed hard. "I can't be like him," he whispered, Harrison's earlier words ringing in his head. "When I got here he was... and you..." He trailed off, aware that he wasn't making any sense, but his head was spinning. "I can't lose you."

Mac's expression softened and his other hand joined the first one in holding Jack's face. "You're not gonna lose me," he whispered, thumb stroking over Jack's cheekbone. "And I told you before, you aren't anything like him. I'll keep saying it as many times as I need to, but I'm gonna make you believe it eventually." He paused, smiling sheepishly. "Besides... I kinda like how you feel on top of me. Makes me feel safe."

Jack blinked up at him, hesitantly running his hands up Mac's sides until he could wrap his arms around his back. "You're... really?" he asked quietly, searching Mac's eyes and finding nothing but affection in them. "It doesn't remind-"

"Nope," Mac interjected with a tiny grin, leaning down to nuzzle Jack's stubble. "All it reminds me of is you." And with that he pushed his arm under Jack's back and rolled them over again, smiling up at Jack, his blue eyes shining.

He spread his legs at the same time, meaning their cocks were grinding together perfectly. Jack groaned and buried his face in Mac's throat, swearing when Mac's hands slid down his back to grope his ass and drag him closer. "What... what did you wanna do, exactly?" he asked, not wanting to presume anything. "Because even this would be enough to get me off again, not gonna lie."

"Mhmm, same here," Mac murmured, hooking one leg over Jack's hip and grinding them together. "But I think I want more."

Jack moaned softly and gently bit down on Mac's throat, trying to concentrate. "Baby, you're gonna have to tell me what you want," he whispered, stroking lightly Mac's side. "I don't- I don't wanna do anything you're not okay with. So you gotta tell me."

Mac exhaled harshly and pushed up into Jack's teeth. "I want... I want you inside me," he whispered, and Jack froze on top of him, his hand hovering over Mac's thigh. "Please, Jack, I know... I know seeing me with Harrison earlier bothered you, but I've thought about this for years now and I really, really want this."

Once again Jack stared into Mac's eyes, but all he saw there was lust and so much love that it took his breath away. "O-okay," he whispered, his voice shaking just a little. "But... if you don't feel okay, or something is wrong, or you wanna stop for any reason, you tell me and we'll stop." Jack swallowed hard, reaching with his hand to brush Mac's hair out of his eyes and he leaned down for a soft kiss. "Okay, Angus? One word and I'll stop."

Mac's answering smile was all sunshine, pure and bright and enough to make Jack's stomach swoop. "Okay, Jack," he replied, and then bit the inside of his cheek. "I have lube and stuff in my nightstand. Maybe we should move up the bed?"

"That's a fantastic idea," Jack murmured, and they did exactly that, crawling and repositioning themselves so that Mac's head was on the pillows and Jack was settled between his legs again. He reached for the nightstand drawer and his hand trembled a little as he reached inside and extracted that little bottle, popping the top open as he went.

He poured lube on his fingers and warmed it up a little before leaning down to press their lips together. Mac gripped his back tightly and he let out an impatient whine, so Jack moved to nip on his jaw as he slide his hand lower. He circled Mac's entrance with his finger for a moment before pushing it inside, making Mac gasp loudly. "Still okay?" He had to make sure, slowly starting to move his finger.

"Yeah, I'm good," Mac said breathlessly, hugging Jack even closer and moaning softly.

Jack moved his finger in and out for several moments before he added a second one, which made Mac moan beneath him, mouth pressed against Jack's temple. Seeing him like this did something to Jack, and before he knew what was happening he was grinding against Mac's thigh, desperate to relieve some of the pressure on his dick.

And it was shortly after that that Mac's breathing changed, and his hands gripped at Jack in a different way - like he didn't want to push Jack off but he would if he had to. "Jack... stop. Please."

Jack's blood turned to ice and he immediately forced his hips to still. He removed his fingers from Mac and pushed himself on his forearms, taking as much of his weight of Mac as he could. When he looked down at him his stomach twisted itself in knots because Mac's eyes were wide and a little panicked.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and as much as he wanted to touch Mac's cheek, he stopped himself. "Are you okay?"

Mac blinked up at him and took in a deep breath, clearly forcing himself to calm down. "I'm... I'm sorry," he whispered, and Jack was alarmed to see tears in Mac's eyes. "I don't think I can do this right now. I thought I was okay, but I'm not... and I don't want _him_ to... to be in here-" he put shaky fingers to his own temple "-when we do this."

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jack murmured, and gently thumbed Mac's tears away when they started falling. "You don't have to apologize, baby." He moved his hand from Mac's cheek to his hair and ran his fingers through the blond strands. "It's okay."

"But..." Mac started, looking miserable. "You wanted to have sex."

"Not as much as I want you to be comfortable, baby," Jack replied, kissing the spot on Mac's cheek where his hand just was. "And if you aren't, then I don't want to have sex... despite what my body may be tellin' me." He pressed a kiss to Mac's forehead next and then pushed himself off of Mac completely, tugging him until they could get under the covers. "You're more important."

He lied on his side and so did Mac, facing him and still looking unsure. Jack was careful not to touch him below the waist and he gently pulled him closer, kissing the tip of his nose. He also thought about dead bodies for a moment until his cock got the memo and went down a little, and then he stroked Mac's side. "You want something to wear?" he asked softly. "Or should I get dressed?"

Mac thought about it for a moment before he shook his head. "No, I... I think I'm okay now." He hesitated for a split second before he put his hand on Jack's face, fingertips brushing over his beard. "Maybe you were right about the way we were positioned, but you didn't remind me of him - I think maybe it was too much, too fast, you know?"

Jack's heart felt a little lighter because the thought of him reminding Mac of Harrison was unbearable. "There's no rush here, darlin'," he murmured, turning his head to kiss Mac’s palm. "We can go as slow as you'd like, or we don't have to do anything at all, ever if that's what you want."

A soft, affectionate smile that Jack had never had the privilege to see appeared on Mac's face, and he scooted closer, making a contented sound when Jack put an arm over his waist. "But I do want you, Jack," he said, cheeks going a little pink. "I want _that_ with you, I have for a long time."

Jack exhaled shakily, forcing his mind not to go in an inappropriate direction. "I want you too, Angus," he murmured, and Mac's breath hitched a little. "But only when you're one hundred percent ready."

"I really like it when you call me that," Mac admitted, leaning in to kiss Jack on the lips, sweet and chaste. The fact that he was comfortable doing that seemed like a good sign to Jack, and his breath hitched a little when Mac cuddled closer to him, so that Jack was lying on his back with Mac's head on his shoulder. "Maybe we could try and get some sleep?

"Yeah, that passing out for twelve hours you mentioned earlier sounds really appealing right now," Jack murmured, kissing the top of Mac's head. Now that he wasn't... occupied by something else, he felt how exhausted he was and suddenly he was barely keeping his eyes open. "I love you, baby."

He felt Mac smile against his skin. "I love you too, Jack," he mumbled, slipping an arm around Jack's middle and squeezing him tight. "Thanks for everything."

And just like that, he drifted off to sleep, his breathing evening out as Jack followed him down into unconsciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I bet you weren't expecting the last chapter so soon, but what can I say, I'm bored. I'm also ignoring my other responsibilities and working on fics seems like a great way to do it.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the positive comments on this fic and we hope you enjoy the last chapter ♥

_Sobbing, Mac tried to struggle and scream, but no sound was coming out of his mouth. He was pinned down to the mattress, trapped under a heavy body, and more tears fell down his cheeks when Harrison looked down at him with a cold smirk. "No one's saving you this time, burger boy," he sneered, yanking Mac's underwear down before he opened his jeans and forced Mac's legs apart. "Now let's see how you scream for me." Mac cried and thrashed when he felt the head of his cock press against his entrance... and then Harrison pushed inside._

Mac woke up with a muffled shout, tears streaming down his face. He covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a sob and stay quiet, and he glanced at Jack who was still asleep. He looked so tired, his breathing deep and even, and Mac didn't want to bother him - he knew how exhausted he was after the mission and then traveling back to save him.

Sniffling, he silently get out of bed, grabbing a pair of sweatpants from the chair and putting it on, and he walked out of his bedroom on wobbly legs, heading for the couch.

He sat down on the couch and grabbed the throw blanket he kept on the back of it, wrapping it around himself and burrowing into a corner. He freed one hand to scrub away the tears on his cheeks, angry at himself for being so bothered by this when nothing had actually happened. He squeezed his eyes shut, pulling the blanket over his head in the hopes that he could block out the world. But no matter how hard he tried Harrison was still there, mocking him in his mind's eye.

His wrists were bruised from how Harrison had gripped them and Mac could still feel his hands on him. He curled up in himself even more, hiding under the blanket and letting out a quiet sob, hoping the blanket would mute the sound and keep Jack from waking up. While he knew Harrison wasn't right about anything, right now he felt just as weak and pathetic as Harrison had told him he was, and he hated it.

It was times like this Mac wished he had a dog or a cat to snuggle and hold, but with their lifestyle it wasn't really an option. He made himself as small as possible and stayed that way for long enough that the sun started to rise, even through the material of the blanket. That was about the same time he heard movement in the bedroom and a few moments later Jack sat down next to him on the couch, a big hand touching his knees with extreme gentleness. "Mac? You okay?"

Mac sniffled and shook his head, but then he remembered that Jack couldn't see him because of the blanket. The hand on his knee squeezed it lightly and after a moment Jack slowly tugged the blanket down, inhaling sharply when he saw Mac's probably red and puffed eyes. "Hey, baby," he murmured, reaching out to gently wipe Mac's cheeks with his hand. "What are you doin' here?"

Mac leaned into Jack's touch, comforted by the soft scratch of his callouses against his skin. "Nightmare," he mumbled, and when Jack held out his arms Mac shifted until he could snuggle up to his warm body.

Jack brushed his lips against Mac's forehead. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I wanted you to get some rest," Mac said quietly, closing his eyes and enjoying Jack's warmth. He was wearing just his sweatpants, so he had gotten a bit cold, but Jack was like a human furnace and Mac cuddled even closer to him. "You were so deeply asleep and you looked so tired... I didn't want to bother you."

Jack sighed deeply enough that it fluttered Mac's hair. "Darlin', as much as I appreciate that... I'll always want to know if something's wrong no matter how tired I am, okay?" One of his hands was rubbing slow circles between Mac's shoulder blades. "It's totally fine for you to wake me up if you have a bad dream - God knows if we're gonna keep sharing a bed you'll see mine eventually."

The idea of Jack having a nightmare made Mac's heart clench a little, but he knew they were inevitable after all the things Jack had been through in the past. "Okay, I'm... I'm sorry," he whispered softly, his finger tracing tiny hearts on Jack's chest over his shirt.

"Baby, you don't need to apologize, you did nothin' wrong," Jack murmured, holding him a little tighter. "Just remember that I'm always here for you, okay?" Mac nodded and he felt Jack's lips press against his hair. "You wanna talk about that nightmare?"

Mac took in a shuddering breath and pushed his face into Jack's neck, using his smell to calm his jangling nerves. "It... well it was about _him_ , obviously." He swallowed hard, voice dropping to a whisper. "You didn't get there in time, or he came back and you weren't there, I don't know which... but he ripped my clothes off and... and..." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I swear I felt him shove i-inside me right before I woke up."

Jack's arms tightened around him as he pulled him closer, burying his face in Mac's hair. "I'm so sorry, baby," he murmured. "But you're safe here, I _promise_. He's never going to touch you again."

"You don't know it, though," Mac heard himself whisper, words tumbling out of his mouth without his control.

"He's locked up, Mac," Jack said quietly, gently rubbing Mac's back. "He's never seeing the light of day again."

"And how many times did we lock up Murdoc only for him to get out?" Mac asked in a trembling voice. "You can't rule this out."

Jack went silent for a moment. "If he does, I'll be here to protect you," he murmured near Mac's ear, his voice a comforting rumble. "And if you want... the offer to kill him is still on the table. I know you said back at the Phoenix that you didn't want that, but... you've gotta know I'd do anything for you, baby. And compared to some of the other shit I've done, taking him out would be nothing."

Mac didn't say anything for a moment and he felt shame growing in him because... he was actually considering it. "That's tempting," he admitted quietly, his voice slightly muffled by Jack's neck. "But I... I don't think it's a right thing to do." A sigh. "No matter how much he scares me."

"If you change your mind, the offer's always open," Jack told him, and they lapsed into silence for a while. Then Jack squeezed at Mac's bicep and asked, his voice hesitant, "You're sure... this didn't have anything to do with what we tried to do last night, right? Like... I didn't scare you or... or hurt you by accident, right?"

"Jack, of course not," Mac instantly said, tilting his head to look at Jack. He reached out with his hand to brush his fingers against his stubble that was surprisingly soft. "You could never scare me. And you didn't hurt me - you stopped the second I asked you to, remember?" Sighing again, Mac bit his lower lip. "It's my fault since I'm... I'm clearly just as weak as Harrison said I was."

"Now hang on a second," Jack said, ire rising in his voice. "You're the strongest person I know, darlin'. You've been through so much, and you're still so fucking kind it hurts. I love you, and I ain't about to listen to anybody talk about you like that - even if it's you."

Mac felt his eyes widen because while he has expected Jack not to agree with him, he hadn't expected such a strong reaction. "I... I love you too," he said, because of that he was one hundred percent sure. He leaned up a little and pressed a kiss to Jack's jaw, loving how his stubble felt under his lips. "Jack, I'm... thank you. For putting up with me."

Jack smiled and chuckled, smacking a kiss to Mac's temple. "You never gotta thank me for that, baby, but you're welcome anyway." He gave Mac one last squeeze before he stood up and headed toward the kitchen. "How about I make us some breakfast, huh? You want pancakes?"

"Yeah, that... that would be nice," Mac said, and proceeded to curl up under the blanket again. He watched Jack move around the kitchen with such an ease, reaching into the cabinets and clearly knowing where Mac kept everything... as if he lived here. It wasn't surprising since Jack used to be at Mac's house all the time, but suddenly Mac realized that maybe... maybe they should make it official and have Jack move in, especially since his lease was up soon.

"Hey, baby, you gonna put a shirt on or somethin'?" Jack called out with a grin. "Or are you gonna stay in a burrito form all day?"

Mac smiled and got up, wearing the blanket like a cape and walking over to Jack. He walked up behind him and slipped his arms around his waist, lips going to the back of his neck to press a kiss to his warm skin. "Move in with me," he murmured, feeling oddly confident and making it a statement instead of a question. But not wanting to be rude, he added, "Please. Only if you want to."

Jack stilled against him, but he didn't tense, so Mac took it as a good sign. Slowly, he turned the stove off and then he turned in Mac's arms to face him. "You sure?" he asks softly, and when Mac nodded he smiled widely. "Then I'd love to, baby."

Smiling back, Mac leaned in to press their lips together, sighing when Jack's arms slid around his waist to pull him closer. He let go of the blanket and took a step forward, backing Jack into the countertop, arms shifting to curl around his neck as he licked over Jack's bottom lip. He felt much more relaxed than he had yesterday despite how the morning had started. "I have an idea," he mumbled against Jack's mouth, and when Jack hummed to show he was listening Mac continued, "What if... what if we tried again, but maybe... maybe I could ride you?"

Jack's breath hitched and he slid one hand into Mac's hair, gently pulling him back to look at him. His eyes were searching his face and Mac expected him to ask if he was sure, but apparently the look on his face was enough because after a moment Jack leaned in again and kissed him harder than before. "Sure, baby, we can try that," Jack murmured against his lips, and his voice dropped lower, sending shivers down Mac's spine.

"Okay," Mac whispered, framing Jack's face with his hands and pulling back to kiss his cheek and then look into his eyes. "Then you should probably take me to bed."

He wasn't expecting Jack to take him literally by crouching to grab his under his thighs and hoist him up into his arms. He yelped in surprise and automatically wrapped his legs around Jack's waist, nuzzling his cheek as Jack walked in the direction of the bedroom. "You're crazy," he said in Jack's ear before he nipped at the lobe.

"Yeah, crazy about you," Jack replied, shouldering through the doorway to Mac's room and turning backward, falling on the bed with Mac on top of him.

Mac grinned down at him and didn't waste any time, leaning down to kiss Jack again. Jack parted his lips for him instantly and Mac moaned softly when their tongues met, slowly sliding together, and he shivered when Jack's rough hands stroked his back up and down.

He could tell Jack was being careful, not touching Mac below his waist, so he reached behind and wrapped his fingers around one of Jack's wrist. "You're sweet, Jack," he murmured with a smile, and moved Jack's hand until it rested on his ass. "But it's okay."

Jack groaned like Mac punched him in the gut and gave his ass cheek a squeeze through his sweatpants. "You've got no idea what you do to me," he said, but he was smiling as Mac leaned down to connect them at the lips again. He also used his hands to help him shimmy out of his sweatpants, then placed Jack's hand on his ass again like it belonged there, only now his skin was bare.

He shivered under Jack's touch and made a frustrated sound, tugging on Jack's t-shirt. He got the message and broke the kiss to yank the shirt over his head and then he also kicked off his sweatpants. Mac groaned when they were both finally naked and he licked into Jack’s mouth before nipping on his lower lip and pulling back with a grin. "Come on, sit up," he murmured, and Jack's dark eyes widened a little and then he scooted up the bed and leaned against the headboard.

Mac shifted closer and they both moaned when their hardening cocks brushed together. He kissed Jack's cheek, then his jaw, then his throat. His hand reached for the nightstand and he grabbed the lube, pressing it into Jack's palm. He slipped his arms around Jack's neck and nuzzled at his short hair, but paused when Jack didn't move to open the lube. "Babe? What's wrong?"

He felt Jack exhale shakily against his neck and then his hands settled gently on his waist which meant he must have put the lube aside. "Sorry, baby," Jack whispered, his voice shaking a little, and Mac pulled back to look at him. Jack's eyes were still dark with arousal, but he was also watching him with a bit of uncertainty in them. "I just... are you sure? I don't want to pressure you into this. And I don't want you to be scared."

Mac felt warm all over when he heard the concern in Jack's voice - some people might find it overbearing, but Mac liked how much he worried. "Jack... I'm not scared," he started, brushing his fingertips over Jack's beard. "And you're not pressuring me at all, in fact you might be discouraging me. I want this... with you, and I want to know that I can do this."

"Okay," Jack whispered, and leaned in to kiss Mac's cheek. "But if you wanna-"

"If I wanna stop, I'll tell you. Promise," Mac finished for him, smiling and nuzzling Jack's nose. He felt Jack's hand slide to his ass again, squeezing it lightly before he heard the cap of lube being popped. He shivered in anticipation, pressing a few kisses down Jack's jaw, and he held his breath when he felt Jack's cold fingers press against his entrance.

"Breathe, baby," Jack murmured against his cheek, those fingers rubbing over his hole until he relaxed. Then the first one slid inside and Mac felt all the tension drain from his body. It felt good, as good as it had last night, and he rocked lightly into the pressure as Jack moved his finger back and forth. He made a low sound when Jack teased him with a second finger for a moment before sliding it inside with the first one.

"Still okay, darlin'?" Jack asked softly, his lips moving against Mac's skin.

"Yeah," Mac gasped, nodding frantically. "Please, don’t stop."

Jack groaned a little and moved his lips to Mac's neck, sucking a bruise into his skin, scissoring his fingers apart and pushing in deeper, and Mac moaned loudly when Jack found his prostate.

Mac shuddered all over and rested his forehead against Jack's shoulder, knowing without a doubt that he could come from this alone. "More, Jack, please." This time Jack didn't bother answering with words, he simply added a third finger and crooked them, pushing on Mac's prostate in a mimicry of fucking that made him cry out brokenly.

"Jack, please," Mac whimpered after a few minutes of this torture that he absolutely loved, but he needed more. "I'm- I'm ready, please."

"Okay, Angus, okay," Jack whispered, and Mac shivered when he heard Jack say his name like that. He removed his fingers, kissing Mac's temple when he hissed a little, and then he was reaching toward the nightstand again. It took Mac's mind a moment to figure out his reaching for the condoms and as soon as that realization hit him, his hand shot toward Jack's, his fingers wrapping around his wrist.

"What?" Jack asked, alarmed, and it took Mac's lust-addled brain a moment to work out that he thought Mac wanted to stop.

"You don't need... we don't need those," Mac managed to say, pulling back enough to look Jack in the eyes. "I'm clean, and I... I trust you, Jack. With everything."

Jack's gaze searched his face for a moment before he nodded and gave Mac a kiss, bringing his hand back to rest on Mac's thigh for a moment. Then he was picking up the lube again to slick himself up and holding on to Mac's hip to help steady him, both of them wrecked with nerves and anticipation.

Mac swallowed and then he lifted his hips up, making a tiny sound in the back of his throat when the head of Jack's cock brushed against his entrance. He framed Jack's face with his hands, pressing their lips together in a hard kiss, and when Jack lined himself up, he slowly started lowering himself on his cock.

It felt like he was being split open in the best possible way, and his mouth dropped open, eyes fluttering shut as he took Jack in one inch at a time. Once he was sitting in Jack's lap he buried his face in Jack's neck, letting out a shuddering breath and staying completely still as he adjusted to the intrusion.

Jack was slowly running his hands up and down, pressing soft kisses to Mac's temple, his ear, and wherever else he could reach. After a moment, when Mac didn't feel like he was going to come on spot, he experimentally shifted his hips, and they both groaned, Jack's hands gripping his back for a second before he forced them to relax.

Exhaling shakily, Mac rolled his hips down a bit harder, pressing his lips to Jack's ear and moaning quietly. "Oh god, Jack," he whispered, rolling his hips again and seeing stars.

"Fuck, Angus," Jack gritted out, sounding just as wrecked as Mac felt. "You feel so good, baby."

Mac rocked his hips again, rolling them back and forth slowly, crying out against Jack's skin when he felt the head of his cock grind into his prostate. His own cock was hard and leaking against his stomach, but he didn't care about that right now, too focused on the intense pleasure he was feeling on the inside.

He was gripping Jack's shoulders hard enough to be painful, but Jack wasn't complaining. After moving slowly for a moment, Mac picked up the pace, whimpering at how amazing it felt. He was panting against Jack's neck, loving how tightly Jack was gripping his hips and loving the idea of Jack leaving some bruises behind. Moaning, he lifted his hips up and stilled for a second before slamming back down, crying out when he took Jack's cock in even deeper than before.

He wasn't going to last long like this, he knew it, so he rode Jack as hard and fast that he was almost blinded by how good it felt. "Oh, _oh_ , Jack."

"You're so good, baby, this is so good," was Jack's response, his voice breaking as his accent came out. His lips were pressing against Mac's skin, not doing much else other than making contact. "I'm - _shit_ \- if you keep doing that I ain't gonna last much longer."

"M-me too," Mac gasped, clenching around Jack as he slammed his hips down again, and Jack groaned loudly, one of his arms wrapping tightly around Mac's waist. Mac felt his vision blur with tears, so he squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the familiar feeling coil low in his stomach. He rolled his hips down hard a few times and then he was coming all over their chests, crying out Jack's name and clinging to him, his hips moving erratically.

Jack held him through it, miraculously staying still and murmuring affectionate nonsense into Mac's ear. "Angus, please, can I..." Mac was still gasping for air, so he just nodded, his grip on Jack's body tightening as he knocked Mac backward onto the mattress. As soon as he was on top of Mac he was pulling out almost all the way and slamming his hips forward, setting up a quick, needy pace.

Mac moaned loudly, whimpering when he started getting oversensitive, but he wrapped his arms around Jack and let him do whatever he wants. He was gasping and groaning with every slam of Jack's hips, barely able to breathe, but he loved it. Jack was panting into his neck, his hips driving in and out of Mac mercilessly, pounding into him fast and hard, and Mac felt a tear roll down his cheek from how mind blowing this was.

His previous anxiety from getting pinned to the bed was gone, replaced by nothing but bliss. He felt it when Jack's hips started to get shaky and his rhythm broke up, and then Jack was slamming his hips home one final time and groaning near Mac's ear as he came. Mac's insides flooded with warmth and he was surprised by how much he loved the feeling, sliding a trembling hand down to squeeze Jack's ass cheek and keep him close.

Jack's hips stilled after a moment and then he collapsed on top of Mac. He slid his arms between his back and the mattress, hugging him tightly as he breathed heavily against Mac's neck. They lied in silence for a moment and Mac kept rubbing Jack's back gently, feeling completely relaxed and safe.

Eventually Jack seemed to regain the control over his breathing and he lifted his head to look down at Mac... and his eyes widened, something like fear appearing in them, and that was when Mac remembered the tears.

"It's okay," he rasped out, hardly recognizing his own voice. When Jack stayed tense and didn't say anything, he added, "Jack, I feel... amazing. That was incredible, I... sex has never been like that before."

Jack relaxed a little and took one hand from under Mac to tangle his fingers in Mac's hair, combing it gently. "I know, it was... surreal," he said quietly, smiling when Mac leaned into his touch. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure." Mac smiled back, hugging Jack closer. "I loved it and I love you. So much."

"I love you too, darlin'," Jack said, nuzzling at Mac's cheek and jaw. He was warm and heavy on top of Mac like the best kind of weighted blanket, and Mac never wanted him to move even though they were both covered in drying come. "Thank you for trustin' me with this... you know, even after what happened. You've got no idea how that makes me feel, Angus."

Mac didn't think he would ever get used to Jack calling him by his name and to the warm feeling that spread in his chest every time he heard it. "Like I said, I trust you with everything," he murmured, turning his head to kiss the corner of his mouth. "And... since you claim I have no idea..." he started with a grin that softened after a moment. "How about you tell me? How that makes you feel, I mean."

"Like I'm the luckiest guy in the world and I've got zero idea what I did to deserve it," Jack replied immediately, shifting gently to pull out, but he didn't go far.

Mac's hand stroked up and down Jack's back, feeling his scars and squeezing at his waist, a frown on his face. "Jack, of course you deserve it," he said. "You deserve everything. Probably more than what I can give you."

It was Jack's turn to frown when he looked down at Mac again. "Baby, all I want is you, nothing and no one else," he said, moving his hand from Mac's hair to cup his cheek. "Anything you want to give me is more than enough. And more than I ever thought I would get."

Mac smiled up at him and shifted enough to kiss Jack's palm. "Okay," he whispered, happiness bubbling in his chest. "What about a shower? You think we could get one of those?"

"Probably a good idea," Jack mused, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "You need me to carry you again?"

"Well, I wouldn't say no to that," Mac said teasingly, and he wasn't really expecting Jack to roll back on the bed - how was he so fast - and stand up. He squealed when Jack grabbed him under his knees and tugged him to the edge of the mattress, and then he yelped when Jack bent down and slid his arms under him, picking him up almost effortlessly.

"You're ridiculous," Mac told him, kissing his cheek and chuckling when Jack pinched his ass in response. "But I love you anyway."

"I love you too," Jack said, his brown eyes shining with affection now. "And I might be ridiculous, but I'm yours. Forever, baby."

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed it! ♥


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